Breakups are hard. There is no going around that fact. So the earlier you realize that you are in for a hard fight, the faster you can do something about it and move on. One important thing to keep in mind right after you part ways is that life in general has to go on whether you want to be part of it or not. So learn about the things that you should and should not do to pick yourself up.
What to Do and What Not to Do
Do block your ex from your life – physically and digitally
Erasing all traces of your ex from your life is one effective way on how to handle a break up. The sooner you do it the better, so why not start blocking them right after your split? Erase their numbers from your phone and from all your social media accounts: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Skype, Tumblr, and every other chat and social media connections that you have.
It will be a good thing if you can stay away from social media for a day or two. This is aimed at two things: one, blocking any news about your ex from reaching you, and two, preventing you from posting stupid status updates on your Facebook page that you will regret later on.
Do talk to someone close to you
The only good thing that could come out of your heartbreak is you will know who genuinely cares for you. Call your best friend or someone from your family who is really close to you to pour your heart out. It would be perfect if she’s that friend or sister who hated your ex from the start. That would make it easy to curse your ex together.
Do let it all out
You cannot move on if you won’t let all the pain and hate go. Trying to bottle it all in will only prolong your agony so let it all out. Take a day or two to mourn your loss, and then move on. If needed, take a leave from work or school so you can cry in private. Let your emotions go freely.
Do remember the good things
Do not let yourself dwell on self pity even after a really messy breakup. Instead, pickup your shattered ego by acknowledging all the good things that happened in your previous relationship. There may be few, but it’s still better than dwelling on all the negative things.
Do learn from your mistakes
Your first mistake is entering into a relationship with him so learn how to be better at picking a man next time. Make everything – both negative and positive – in your relationship part of your future love arsenal.
Do be civil
At some point, you and your ex will meet again. One important tip on how to handle a break up is to resist the urge to spit on his face or claw his eyes out. A short greeting would be appropriate if you are standing face to face. Then move away.
Don’t engage in break-up sex
Avoid any chance of physical intimacy with your ex unless you want to go through all the pains again. If your raging hormones are tempting you to give up your defenses, just think back to the reasons why you split in the first place.
Don’t sleep around
Hooking up with different men only shows how desperate you are for company. Avoid it like the plague. It will only result in more pain and will greatly minimize your chances of having serious relationships in the future.
Don’t malign your ex
Your ex might be a big jerk, but disparaging him in front of people, especially around your common friends or his family, just shows that you haven’t really moved on from your break up. It is better to stay silent or say neutral things when his name comes up in a conversation.
How to Deal with Post Split Stress
Reinforce your self-esteem by taking good care of your body. If you can spare it, spend a day in a nice spa that offers whole body massage, waxing, facial, and other beauty regimens. The experience will not only take your mind off the pain of your breakup, but will also make you feel better physically. Eating nutritious foods is also helpful. Load up on fresh fruits and green vegetables. The vitamins and minerals you’ll get from them will help prop up your body’s energy level and mood. Avoid engorging yourself in your favorite ice cream or other comfort foods. Eat wisely so you will come out of your mourning in a better shape than when you went in. This is one way on how to handle a break up that you will really enjoy.
It is easy to feel like just sitting in the corner and watching the days go by after a break up. Your energy level is down and it’s hard to feel excited about anything. Pickup yourself! Do something to keep your mind off your love problems. Being idle only invites negative thoughts, and waves of self-pity can easily wash over you.
Pick up a new hobby, or start with an old one that you have been postponing for a while. Call your friends and arrange a get-together. Moving and keeping yourself busy is the perfect antidote against feeling lonely and rejected.
Take the time to look around you for people who need help. You may not be able to cure them of their illnesses, but any act of kindness can help both you and the receiver. Doing acts of kindness opens your heart to others and gives you a sense of purpose. It also helps you take your mind off your petty love quarrels.
Count your blessings
Messy breakups can leave you feeling like your life no longer amounts to anything. But one effective way on how to handle a break up is to get over this negativity by reminding yourself of all the good things that you still have. Count among them your family and friends, your job, your stellar school record, your hobbies, and even the material things that you currently enjoy. Losing your boyfriend is painful, but not painful enough to rob you of all the joys in life.
Hit the gym, join a marathon, play tennis with your friends, or swim in the open sea. There are a lot of exciting things that you can do to keep your endorphins flowing. There are valid reasons to whip up a sweat right after your breakup: physical activity is proven effective in battling stress and improving your mood. It is also a great way to keep your mind off the painful things that you are growing through. So lace up that sneaker and hit the road every time that familiar feeling of wanting to kill your ex washes over you.