Sometimes, when a man uses words like “it’s complicated” for your relationship, it becomes easy to understand where he really stands emotionally when it comes to you. But sometimes, things are a lot more confusing and complicated. You think back on all the times he made you feel special, whispered sweet things in your ear, was so caring/possessive over you... the works. And you think “How could he possibly not be serious about me?” So, today we are here to discuss with you the million dollar question – how to tell when he's not serious about you.

Signs He's Not Serious About You

Please do keep in mind that it’s entirely possible that in a new relationship, he may not be sure of his feelings for you. But NEVER confuse that with him not being serious about you. If he does the following things, you should definitely be alarmed.

He ignores your calls

Now don’t get us wrong. We know that men, especially those who have a 9-5 job, are busy at their offices with work, clients and bosses. BUT if ignoring your calls is a regular occurrence and he doesn’t even bother calling you back, then that should raise flags for you.


He never helps you

Every person, woman or man, needs help from time to time to get things done, like moving into a new apartment, finding a new job, looking for a new car, etc. At this time, an outsider’s perspective is invaluable. And if during times like these (when you need him and his input the most), he disappears or makes excuses to not be by your side, know that he’s exhibiting signs he's not serious about you.


He makes/cancels plans at the last minute

He never cares about your plans of spending time together. Plans are made according to his convenience at the last minute. The same thing goes for cancellation of important dates or plans, especially when he knows you've cleared your schedule to spend time with him. If he sees you as someone unimportant in his life, someone who can easily be replaced, it’s obvious he’s not serious about you.


It started out with one clubbing night

Well, what were you expecting? To find your knight in shining armor at a place full of boys and girls seeking fun and excitement? Wow. Really?


He never makes his intentions clear

Whenever you bring up the topic of the two of you together or your future, he always manages to steer the topic to something else. He keeps hanging out with you for months without really defining anything or telling you how he really feels, and when you do manage to confront him, he uses words like he’s “confused” or that “I like you but I’m not ready for a relationship”. Like, what the fuck?


He’s still on Tinder

Now there are only 2 reasons his profile is still there:

  • He’s just so forgetful that it haven't even occurred to him to delete his profile (highly unlikely scenario);

  • He’s showing one of the most obvious signs he's not serious about you. Because if he were, he would have not only deleted his profiles, but also uninstalled any such dubious apps and focused on getting to know you more.


He talks about his ex a lot

Of course, one reason may be that he’s simply trying to make you jealous. But the more obvious reason would be that he’s still not over her. And if he’s not over her, then what is he doing with you? Not to mention the fact that he constantly makes comparisons between the two of you, something that you never want from a potential partner. What's more, he may flirt or eye other women behind your back or even in front of you and then accuses you of being jealous when you’re annoyed with his immature behavior.


You aren’t together on social media

Sure, openly declaring on Facebook that you’re in a relationship is a serious step, and you shouldn’t expect that from him if you two only know each other for a few weeks. However, if he refuses to change his status after months of being together, or if he avoids posting any pictures of the two of you together and prefers posting only group photos with you, know that something’s wrong.


He never talks about his family

One of the most obvious signs he's not serious about you that you can spot is when a man avoids talking about his family with you. Do you know why he never discusses his mom’s favorite flower or dad’s favorite soccer team with you? Because you’re not worth his time and energy and because you’re nothing more than a casual relationship for him.


He doesn’t introduce you to his friends

Or he introduces you but not as his girlfriend. In their eyes, you’re just another girl in his life, which needless to say isn’t good for you. A man who’s serious is proud to flaunt his girl to other men, especially his friends. Not only that, he will go out of his way to introduce you to his best mates.


He doesn’t show up to the events you invite him to

That’s because he doesn’t want anybody to know that you two are a couple. He will always come up with some excuse or the other to not show up at the said events, most of which would involve him having to suddenly go on out-of-town trips for his company. Yeah, right.


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