Relationship compatibility only exists when there is mutual respect and compatibility. The couple should be able to have fun together and enjoy each other’s company. A relationship can only be fruitful when the couple shares at least a few interests and activities. The ideal choice doesn’t have to share all your interests. You just have to share enough to be able to get along and do stuff together. While disagreements cannot be avoided, it is possible to be a loving person towards someone you’re compatible with. 

What Is Compatibility in a Relationship?

When you meet a person for the first time, you get to know him or her by talking about your experiences, likes and dislikes. To determine whether or not you’re compatible, you have to figure out your similarities and opposites.

If Similarities Attract

If a person says or does something you would have said or done yourself, it fuels relationship positivity and attraction. This increases compatibility whereby you’re likely to agree on issues and decisions made in the relationship. You tend to agree on a lot of things and generally find it easier to get along with each other. Compatibility has a lot to do with happiness and satisfaction. This enables love and happiness to grow in the relationship. However, there are couples who cannot get along with people that they have too much in common. Such people seek out opposites.

If Opposites Attract

What is compatibility between opposites? There are times when two people with completely different styles, tastes and thoughts about life are completely compatible with one another. The thing with these kinds of couples is that they find their differences intriguing. For such a relationship to work, the people involved have to respect each other's opinions and decisions.

Why Is Compatibility So Important in a Relationship?

So you have known the answer to "What is compatibility?" it's time to find out why it is so important in a relationship. People are usually unhappy when they are in a relationship with someone they are not compatible with. The truth is, people do not always pick relationships for the right reasons. 

  • It is possible for you to be drawn to someone subconsciously because of adaptations from your childhood. This refers to the psychological defenses you formed as a result of the environment you grew up in. For example, most people tend to choose partners who treat them the way they were treated during childhood. 

  • You might unconsciously choose someone who is not ideal for you. For example, if you are a silent and passive type of person, you might choose someone who is loud, consequently yield to their decisions and allow them to dominate the relationship. While this might seem comfortable at first given that this is how you were treated at home. With time, you will grow resentful and angry about your partner’s traits, which at first seemed attractive.

  • Someone you chose for being stable might eventually seem dull. Someone you chose for having good values might end up seeming judgmental. Someone you chose for being charismatic might suddenly turn narcissistic.

If you want to avoid choosing a partner for the wrong reasons, you should avoid basing your search on finding your “missing piece”. If you are seeking out someone who “completes” you, you might limit yourself and your personal growth. Instead, focus on picking people who challenge you and help you grow. You might find that someone who initially made you uncomfortable shows more interest and care than someone you are comfortable and familiar with at first.

How to Find a Compatible Partner

  • In you're searching for a compatible partner, avoid the trap of looking for the perfect person. It is not possible to find someone with whom you’re completely compatible. So, as for "what is compatibility" and how to find that person, you must know that what you want is someone who is open to trying new things, hearing feedback and growing all the time. No single person will meet all your criteria. Searching for such a person is only setting yourself up for failure.

  • Disagreements are a natural part of every relationship, so arguing doesn’t mean that you’re not compatible. The key is to resolve your issues amicably and with respect. Compatibility issues will only arise if you are unable to solve your problems by compromising.

  • Shared beliefs are a good starting point. However, it is normal to have separate interests. You should both take part in each other’s interests. It’s a great way to try new things and keep the relationship fresh. You should make a point of caring, respecting and supporting each other as autonomous individuals.


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