Usually, a friends with benefits relationship starts out one of two ways: Either after a night of too much tequila, or a spontaneous discussion leads to you seriously considering not getting serious. Either way, it’s the perfect arrangement for guys and gals who enjoy being single but wouldn’t mind a little sexual healing every once in a while. Here are the 6 commandments of a friends with benefits relationship. Break them at your own risk:
Make sure it’s what you really want
Ask yourself: Why do I really want to jump into a friends with benefits relationship? If it’s because you’re rocking your career and aren’t interested in anything serious, cool. If it’s because you want to have your cake and eat it too, you go girl. But if you’re compelled to do so out of loneliness or because you’ve become the spinster of the group, maybe it’s time to reevaluate. It shouldn’t be something you’re settling for – it should be fun!
Make sure you don’t already have feelings for him
Sexual chemistry is a must, obvi, but make sure you’re not hooking up with a guy you have a crush on. The only way the FWB thing can be a complete and total success is if you absolutely, 100 percent do not see a future with him – but he does make you feel randy in all the right places.
Be clear from the get-go
Usually the breakdown in communication happens right in the beginning when it’s not clear whether you’re in a friends with benefits relationship or a no strings attached one. While the terms are used interchangeably, they’re actually completely different. Friends with benefits means you actually are friends too, and no strings attached means just sex and nothing else. Establish which type of nookie you’re signing up for before hitting the sheets.
Have no expectations
A casual relationship is just that: Casual. While there are obvious emotional boundaries in place, there are no rules as to how often you “should” or “shouldn’t” hear from each other. And if one of you texts for a booty call but the other’s busy or there’s no answer, there’s nothing to read between the lines or take personally – neither of you have to drop your lives for each other, which is a beautiful thing. Just go with the flow.
Keep your relationship strictly in the bedroom
That way, there’s no confusion. There’s nothing that ruins an FWB arrangement faster than grabbing a coffee or bite to eat with the guy you’re… well, benefitting. Don’t do anything together that may give you a whiff of the dating world.
There’s your life life, and your FWB life
The whole point to a friends with benefits relationship is that it’s like a mini vacay from reality – the two should never blend together. Don’t hang out with each other’s friends or family, don’t bring him to a work thing, don’t drop off food from that place he likes. That’s called being in a relationship, and then you’re just asking for trouble.