Like anything significant in life, forming a relationship has its share of obstacles. The problems double when your chosen one that is from another culture and from a different social environment. Sometimes she does not speak your language – in fact, she is located a thousand miles away from you.
Problems About Having a Russian Girlfriend
In the countries of the former USSR, the quality of foreign languages teaching has never been high. There wasn't much need to know a foreign language anyway once you have graduated from high school and college.
The Soviet Union had never been a part of the global market. The communist party didn’t allow a common soviet citizen to go abroad. These two factors contributed to the situation where the majority of Soviet people didn’t speak neither English nor any other foreign language.
Due to the high corruption level and the lack of state control in education system in Russia (Ukraine, Belarus), the last 20 years saw the further worsening of the situation. Not many young girls or women in Russia can speak English at a level good enough to interact with a foreigner.
Long distance relationship
It is very likely that you are separated from your bride-to- be by thousands kilometers. You can't simply make an appointment to have a coffee together.
Remote acquaintance imposes significant limits on your relationship. It is difficult to understand what the girl is like in real life as well as her true age, weight and height. Lack of visual contact distorts the perception; the information you get about your future partner may turn out to be anything but what you expected.
From my own experience, I can tell you that a single telephone call can mean ten times as much as hundreds of letters and text messages, while a single face-to-face meeting means ten times as much as hundreds of telephone calls. It often happens that when people meet in person for the first time after a long period of virtual dating, they are disappointed.
Differences in culture and social norms
People from different countries and nations also differ in their life views, social norms, traditions and religion. People from different cultures demonstrate different approaches to problem-solving. They would also expect from their mate the kind of behavior they are used to since their childhood years.
It is most probable that you, dear reader, are unfamiliar with Russian history, culture, religion and the social norms accepted there. But even worse is the fact that your future bride is unfamiliar with your country’s history, culture, religion and the social norms. The situation has the potential for many conflicts, as you and your bride see each other’s behavior as wrong, though in your birth country it is accepted as perfectly normal.
No matter how independent you and your bride are, close relatives will always have a significant influence upon you. So you will have to “sell” your image not only to the bride but also to her parents, her child (if there is one), close relatives and friends. The same applies to your bride - she also has to establish a connection with your relatives and friends. Here the cultural clash will probably manifest itself to the full extent.
Difference in religion
The majority of the population of Russia, Ukraine and Belarus consider themselves Orthodox Christian. Some 10% are Muslim. Chances are you are going to communicate with and date a girl who considers herself an Orthodox Christian.
Actually, only a small part of the Russian people are truly religious. I am talking about those who pay regular visits to church, read the Bible and know prayers. There’s not many of them. The faith of a modern Russian person is usually limited to wearing a cross around the neck and the inner sense of God’s existence. Therefore, a modern Russian lady is more of an atheist. The question is how she will take your religious beliefs and faith? It is an important question.
Hardship in professional and social adaptation
The quality of education in the former Soviet Union was really good. Unfortunately, it has deteriorated over the last 25 years since the collapse of the USSR. It is possible that your bride will have a lower professional qualification compared to her western counterparts.
Considering her knowledge of your country’s language is bad, it would be hard for her to confirm her degree in a professional association or a government institution. She will also have a hard time finding a job to comply with the high professional standards required of her qualification in a developed western country.
For many Russian immigrants in the West, it takes them years of educational and professional adaptation in order to return to the career level they used to hold. Many of them are still working unskilled jobs.
It is natural to be homesick after moving abroad. One misses his friends, relatives, familiar places and familiar foods. A strange new country, emigration problems and family troubles add to this feeling of loneliness and melancholy.
One starts to think that back at home, in Russia (Ukraine, Belarus), everything was fine. One forgets all the problems and bad things, and now remembers only positive things. Nostalgia is a dangerous thing. If you don’t start fighting it – it may lead, among other things, to the breakup of your relationship
It is common that a foreign man feels the temptation to meet a Russian girl who is much younger than him. She is young and beautiful, and in his country he can only dream about such a girl. However, these 20 or even 30 years of age difference may become critical and be the reason your relationship breaks up later, after you have started building your family life in your country.
Back in Russia, you represented to her the promise of a new comfortable life. But after the marriage and relocation, you are nothing but an old husband. She has already learned a new language, and there are plenty of young and handsome men of her age around. So it is recommended to be realistic and to think twice before starting the relationship with a much younger woman.
Social environment difference
Generally, people tend to find a mate from the same social background. A physician doesn’t get along well with a plumber, lovers of theater and classic music rarely associate with lovers of professional wrestling and monster truck shows.
The hard economic situation in the country may force a highly educated woman from a city with a million-plus population to marry a plumber and to go to live in a small rural township. But it won’t last long. They will inevitably get divorced sooner or later, and she will leave for a big city she is used to.
Choose your partner wisely, dear readers, and choose the one equal to you.
Author of the article is Shmilovitch Michael