Love looks not with eyes but with heart. When it comes to choosing a guy, you don’t get much sense to think and decide. What if you are dating a guy with a child from some previous relationship? How would you deal with it? Things can turn complicated and you may find yourself unsure what to do. Don't worry, we have all the best tips for you.
Must-know for Dating a Guy with a Child
His Child Always Comes Before You!
No matter how hard you try, you can never replace his child. This is something that you must accept. Being a father, it’s his duty to care for his kid first. And you should never feel bad about that. Things will always fall differently for you two. You will plan dates, movies, dine out and shopping. But it all can be postponed or cancelled in the last hour due to many reasons related to the kid. So, are you ready to manage your plans according to his kid’s schedule?
Is He Your Mr. Right?
Dating a father has a benefit that you should be taking advantage of. Watching him nurturing up his kid is a great opportunity to observe his mannerism as a man. And above all, how he deals with the people connected to his life? Surely, it would give you a better idea of the real man inside him. And you will be able to determine whether you are ready for dating a guy with a child.
No Place for Insecurity!
Every woman feels insecure about her man. That’s quite natural. But here you will face a different case. Your man (father of a child) will text, talk and even meet his ex-lady for the best interests of their kid. So, you have no reason to get jealous of it. Rather you should try to maintain a friendly relationship with his ex. And try your best to play a positive role in child’s life by accepting his biological parents wholeheartedly.
No Need to Hurry at All!!
Once you have decided to be a part of this small family, don’t expect too much initially. If the kid rejects you or rebuffs your efforts towards him, don’t be surprised. You are not his mother. Kid may take some time for building a trustworthy relationship with you. So be patient. Take your time, give the kid some time to get to know you. And things will settle down eventually.
Are you Compromise Ready?
A lot of things that you have been practicing till now are going to be compromised from now on. With a kid around you, you are not going to enjoy your live-in relationship openly and freely. Like you have always been doing. Whatever you will do, that kid will always be a part of it. Are you going to compromise and accept things that way?
Expect the Unexpected!
While you are romancing single parent, there will be moments of dismay and rejection. The moments where you will feel irrelevant. But you are always expected to stay positive, no matter how long it takes. You never know when that strange-looking kid surprises you with a friendly smile. It will surely be worth the wait.
You’ll Never Be the First in Many Aspects
When you are dating a guy with a child, obviously, you are not the first woman in your boyfriend’s life. What do you want from this relationship? Do you want to settle down and have a family with this man? Whatever you want, you'll never be his first. He already has experienced fatherhood and he has enough knowledge of how things work. So, you’ll never have your mutual 'first’ as a couple. If you are OK with that, you are ready to go with this relationship.
Something Positive about this Relation!
To be a single parent is not easy, especially for males. They have to play a double role of both father and mother. With the ability to cook, clean, wash and even changing the diapers of the baby, they have a more open attitude towards life. Quite unlike the typical men, such men may prove easy to live with.
Tips for a More Successful Relationship
Clarify Things up!
You two, as a couple-to-be, severely need to clear your viewpoints on certain things. Ask him about his expectations from you for him and for his kid. Be honest to yourself and decide wisely whether you’ll be able to fulfill those life-long responsibilities or you are just looking for a timely relationship.
Love His Kid!
In such complicated relationships, love can play a major part. The more loving relationship you try to develop with that kid, the sooner things will settle down on their right places. It all may seem hard but it’s not impossible. So, the best you can do is to learn to accept the kid from your heart.
Don’t Get Hasty!
No matter how madly in love you are. This new relation is something surprising for the kid. So, don’t be hasty for getting into a live-in relationship. Do not expect the kid to accept things at once. Introduce yourself as a friend. Give him some time to ponder. Otherwise you’ll do nothing except upsetting a kid.
Make It a Respectful Relationship
Never try to compete his biological mom and never talk ill of her in front of the kid. And also, don’t let your man bad mouth his ex in front of the kid. When you are dating a guy with a child, you have to present yourself as a trustworthy friend to earn respect. Such long-term relations can’t work without that.
Take Your Stand!
Neither the kid nor the father would expect you to guide them about the right ways of parenting. So, first thing is to avoid any kind of preaching regarding mannerism. Mind your own business. But if the kid misbehaves with you, ask your man to play a neutral role and ask his kid to behave. But if he backs up his child and confronts you, be sure it’s time to move on with this relationship.
Be a Friend!
Remember, you are not supposed to replace the biological mother. So, don’t intrude in kid’s affairs. Leave it to his parents. You better introduce yourself as a friend to the kid. It is also very important to meet his mom. It’s her right to know the person, her child is going to live with, in her absence.