A wise man once said, “You cannot give what you do not have.” In order to have successful relationships, you must know how to love yourself before you can give love to others. That is why self-esteem is very important. Self-esteem means perception of one’s self. If you have good self-esteem, it means you know your worth and you have a good perception of yourself. A person with low self-esteem may encounter problems when it comes to relationships. This article will tell you why.
Why Is It so Hard to Date Someone with Low Self-Esteem?
They can’t express themselves
Communication is one of the most important foundations of a relationship. But people with low self-esteem may have problems in expressing themselves. This is the reason why they are easily hurt, angered and aggressive or even defensive. They also have the tendency to emotionally shut down and isolate themselves from the people they love. This is just one of the reasons why dating someone with low self-esteem may be difficult.
They have trust issues
Trust is another important element in a relationship. People with low self-esteem lack confidence to themselves that is why they also have difficulties in giving away their trust to other people. A relationship without trust and solid communication is most likely to fail.
They are pessimistic
People with low self-esteem will constantly have self-pity and will always look down on themselves. They have poor outlook on themselves and dating them can be tiring. For example, they will constantly ask their partners if they look good. If the answer is yes, they will just argue and insist they don’t look good. This becomes exhausting to the other half of the relationship.
They destroy themselves, subconsciously or consciously
Another sign that you are dating someone with low self-esteem is being in a destructive relationship. Persons with low self-worth attract persons who don’t treat them right or enter dead-end relationships because they believe that they do not deserve to be happy and to be treated well. Instead they engage in “quick fixes” like one night stand to get someone like them, but what they don’t realize is that they are slowly ruining their lives.
They can’t function in a relationship
People with low self-esteem are consciously or unconsciously passive and pessimistic; they don't know how to act and maintain a wholesome and loving relationship because they have low opinion of themselves making them prone to being abused and manipulated by other people. A happy relationship requires two fulfilled people that can give love and respect to each other.
They have unhealthy expectations
How do you know if you are dating someone with low self-esteem? Persons with low self-esteem are idealistic. At first, they will flatter you and make you feel you are so admired. But as time passes by, their expectations will start to set in. If you don’t meet these expectations, they will always feel dissatisfied, making your relationship suffer.
They have problems managing conflicts
People with low self-esteem have poor conflict management skills. They usually have difficulties in addressing problems in friendships, and intimate relationships just make conflicts more difficult to handle. And when they begin to feel the stress of conflicts, they start to become aggressive or begin to isolate themselves, making it hard to get anything settled.
They can be critical
People with low self-esteem may sometimes be irritating because they are constantly critical to other people. If you are dating someone with low self-esteem, check this sign out. For example, this type of person may believe that other people will only love and respect you if you are rich. They base their self-worth in this, and will be critical if anyone, including you, does not fit this criterion.
They might ruin you
You may be attracted to them because you thought you could fix things for them or you could heal the wounds of their past. But be aware that their past hurts may have happened in their childhood and no one can ever fix them except for themselves. If you constantly get hurt, then it’s time to move away. It doesn’t mean you are selfish, but you have to put yourself first.
Are You Dating Someone with Low Self-Esteem?
They’d rather keep quiet than stand up to argue even if they know they are right so that they can please other people.
They can’t go out without make up because their self-worth is based on their physical beauty.
They can't accept constructive criticism professionally, and instead they react emotionally. Instead of taking the criticism as an advice, they’d rather yell and cry because they believe they are being bullied.
They have a hard time making decisions even on small things. For example, they can’t make up their mind on what activity to do with a friend, like shopping, eating or walking around in a park.
They always compare themselves to others and then start doing negative self-talk. They feel insecure because they think they can’t be successful like other people.
They easily give up on their dreams even before they have started because they believe they were born to be losers.
When they are seated alone, they constantly check on their cellphones in a social gathering so that they will look like they are socially connected.
They are afraid to give their opinions in a conversation because of the fear of rejection. This is one major sign that you are dating someone with low self-esteem.
They can’t handle compliments. When somebody tells them they look beautiful on that outfit, they tend to feel embarrassed instead of saying thank you.