All of us know that a long distance relationship is hard to maintain, but for some reason, one has to move to a different place in order to prepare for the future. Some of the major reasons are college and work. There are persons who back out once they find out that they have to deal with a long distance relationship, because they believe that long distance relationships are not only hard to handle but also not meant to last. Is this really the case?
Do Long Distance Relationships Work?
Lots of people believe that long distance relationships are not for everyone because these relationships will only bring them pain and broken heart. But this is not true at all because there is no evidence that all long distance relationships do not work. Yes, there are some which do not work out but there are also those that end in a happy ever after. As long as you're willing to exert extra efforts, you are sure to make your long distance relationship work.
There is a study conducted in Queen’s University which has proven that there is no difference between a long distance relationship and a geographically-close relationship in terms of communication, satisfaction and commitment. It is also found that couples who are far from each other communicate regularly by calling at least once every three days, visiting at least once a month and writing each other letters in an average of three times a month.
How to Make Long Distance Relationship Work Better
This is a fundamental foundation of every relationship. You need to reassure each other that even if you are far away, you can trust each other. Make an agreement like having a facetime session or calling each other every day after work. These simple actions will build a strong foundation for your relationship, and once you have this agreement, keep it. You don’t want your loved one to worry about you.
Keep the intimacy alive
Do long distance relationships work? Of course, as long as you keep the intimacy alive. Even if you two are far away from each other, our technology today offers so much that you can do things that only two people who are together can do before. You may try having a video session or maybe you can “do” it over the phone. Just make sure you have enough privacy though. You don’t want to have video scandal revolving all over the internet.
Keep on knowing each other
Even though you’ve been together in a relationship for so long, since you are in a long distance relationship, there are things about your partner’s life that you don’t see and miss. While apart, you need to continue learning more about each other. For example, you should try to find out which restaurant he or she loves recently and why, if his or her favorite dishes have changed, what project he or she is busy with, what kind of new friends he or she has made, etc. But do make sure you don’t sound like interrogating when you do this.
Keep your eyes on the prize
Being in a long distance relationship is truly hard but hey, it’s not permanent. There will be days that you feel frustrated and lonely, but keep in mind that it will pass, you two will finally be united geographically and then you can see each other's face when you wake up every morning. Keep this prize in mind and you will get a firmer answer to the question, "Do long distance relationship work?"
Make your presence felt
Being far from each other is not an excuse for you to disappear from your partner's world. Keep each other close by surprising your partner with flowers, sweet notes or door to door packages. You may also try non-traditional things like sending something that he or she always forgets. This will make him or her feel that you are just nearby whenever he or she sees the item you send.
Remember both of you are humans
You don't need to ask "Do long distance relationships work?" if you always keep in mind that you and your partner are humans and not perfect. Not being together for a long time can make you look at your partner ideally, so make sure to communicate regularly so that you are aware of the changes happening in your partner's life.
Don’t forget about little things
It is understandable that you will always want to talk about your relationship and how much you love each other because you are far away, but don’t forget to talk about the little things. Little things are what an average couple normally discusses, for example, making meals, doing the chores, grocery shopping, a joke heard from a friend, an anecdote of a colleague, etc. This will give you a feeling of what you will be someday when you are finally together.
Interdependence is an act where one goes against his own interest for the benefits of his partner or the relationship itself. Make sure that your partner can always find you whenever she is going through something. This will make your relationship strong. If your partner sees that you are always unavailable, there will come a time that she won’t need you anymore.
Do things together
Like what was mentioned before, the technology we enjoy today can help us bridge the gap with our loved ones. You may try having a video chat and then do and learn things together like cooking, sleeping or maybe reading a good book together.
Talk about your weaknesses and problems
This is something you should never forget. You can get a yes to the question, “Do long distance relationships work?” only if you openly talk about your fears and weaknesses with your partner. Keep in mind that both of you are not perfect and you should work as a couple to solve all issues and build a future together. This is also an opportunity for you to know each other better, accept each other’s flaws and enhance your emotional bonding.