We’re always surrounded by stories of emotionally abusive relationships, and while most of us feel sorry for the victims, we cannot help but be judgmental. Maybe she was weak; maybe she was asking for it; maybe she was too stupid to see what was happening…. The list is endless. But the truth is starkly different. These 5 stories will show you what the reality really is.
5 Emotionally Abusive Relationship Stories
I didn't realize it's abusive!
I remembered clear as day what attracted me in Trent – his smartness. And within a month of dating him, I knew I was in love. However, my fairy tale was not meant to be, because the very thing that attracted me in him turned out to be a curse for me as well. Turns out, Trent was an extremely suspicious guy and it was impossible to hide anything from him. I was not cheating on him, but I did hang out with my friends late at night, drinking at the bar, something he hated due to his jealous nature. I’d just tell him we had gone to watch a movie, but he’d always sniff out my lie.
He’d ask me aggressive questions and keep on attacking me verbally till I slipped and gave him the info he was looking for. And even at times when I was right, he’d "prove" me wrong and make me apology for things I never did. The intensity of his aggressiveness kept on increasing month after month, and even though it never got physical, I was constantly in fear of angering him. After 7 months of a really intense roller coaster ride, I decided to go to therapy. And guess what? During the second therapy session, my therapist said I was in an abusive relationship. It was then that I realized she was right. I was abused for no good reason! So, I dumped Trent’s ass within one week.
He is a disguised narcissist
You know, when I look back, it's just like yesterday. You read about these emotionally abusive relationship stories on the internet and think nothing of the sort could ever happen to you, which makes you put down your guard. But the truth is even the most educated and intelligent people can be abused emotionally.
I remember my ex, a typical abusive guy. He was so romantic in the beginning – fancy dinners, red rose bouquets, teddy bear or other soft toys. He was very sensitive, attentive and loving. When I met him, I thought I’d met the One. But I could not have been further from the truth. He was a lying, manipulative narcissist who would always blame me for everything wrong that ever happened, even for his own faults. He always had to be in control and would not think twice before humiliating me in public. It took me only 3 months to realize who he really was, and thank God for Neena, my bestie, who helped me through the breakup.
When love turns bitter
It’s impossible for me to pinpoint when exactly my relationship with my fiancé became toxic. It could have been as early as our first date; I don’t know. I don’t remember much of it, besides feeling insecure when I returned home at night. Maybe it was the first time he called me “fat” and then laughed it off as a joke. Or maybe it was when he publicly and very loudly criticized the dress I was wearing as being “too revealing”. I guess it should be when he called me a “slut” in front of my mother. Shocked, my mother took me to her room and had a good talk with me. And the very next day, I had a talk with him about his attitude and how it made me so upset. He apologized but in fact nothing really changed. Then I thought it was time to go separate ways, so I dumped him.
She is a master in deception
You know, I used to think that a guy can laugh off at all these emotionally abusive relationship stories easily because come on, how can a woman ever be abusive towards a guy, right? But I was so wrong. Kareena was my first true love and I loved how confident she used to make me feel. However, right from the get go I always caught her always lying to me. At first it would be small lies, like lying about the price of a bag or a piece of jewellery that she bought with my money. But as months passed, the lies became bigger and bigger. She started hanging out and spending nights with her ex, which I came to know only via my best friend who saw the two walk right into a motel.
When I confronted her, she cried and convinced me that nothing happened – her ex just needed some company and she was there as a "friend". At that time, I loved her and so automatically trusted her. But there were rumours. I was really bothered but every time I confronted her, she gave all kinds of seemingly disputable excuses. She even accused me of not trusting her and neglecting all her love for me. I even apologized for being suspicious several times. Looking back I now realized what a master manipulator she was.
However, it all ended one night when she came home, completely wasted, and unknowingly confessed that she had been having sex with her ex for the last 3 months. It shattered me completely, and I dumped her. But I went into depression for the next 6 months and was under strict observation by my doctor. Today, I am just thankful because I can spot manipulative people from a mile away.
He kills me spiritually
I guess the first sign for me was how he made me change, lovingly of course, into a completely different person. I used to be a smart, professional woman, who was outspoken, loved colours and wore whatever the hell I wanted. I didn’t know how he did it – but he made me believe that I was wrong. And even though my gut told me to run, I was so madly in love with him that I gave up everything that made me, me. I gave up my job to become a housewife, stopped wearing short clothes, became an introvert and broke off all contact with my friends.
My implicit trust in him was the reason he was able to kill my spirit. A time came when I felt it didn’t matter if I lived or died. And that is when I realized that it’s not me – it really was him. The divorce was messy, but at 32, I’ve never been happier and free of emotional baggage.