In today’s modern world, some people prefer a "no strings attached" kind of relationship instead of a serious one. Is it a good or a bad idea? Well, it is up to you to decide but just to give you a heads up, this kind of relationships involve a friend with benefits. It is having the sexual perks of a relationship without the emotional attachments and responsibilities. Just in case you are in this scenario or planning to enter one, below are ten tips on how to handle this kind of relationship to give you a deeper insight.
How to Maintain a Relationship with Friends with Benefits
Know who to turn to
Most probably you already have prospects on who will be your buddy with benefits, but it is important that you choose well. Don’t even think about having this kind of relationship with a family friend because definitely you don’t want to feel awkward during your family gatherings. Do not have an office mate as your “buddy” because you will only ruin your reputation at work. Besides, you also should not have this kind of relationship with someone who likes you because that person may just hope that someday you two can develop something serious, which you never want from this relationship. All in all, you should become "friends" with individuals who are open to this idea and know how to separate physical desires from emotional desires.
Make sure you are on the same page
From the very start of the relationship, make sure that the two of you understand what you are really into -- it is just a casual sexual relationship without any emotional attachments. By doing so, you will not end up hurting someone else’s feelings. An open communication is the secret to make sure that you are on the same page.
Make it about sex only
Both of you are human beings so be very careful not to make any emotional investment. Although there is nothing wrong if you want to celebrate special days with your “friend” like birthdays, do not blur things by chatting everyday just because you miss them or hanging out for long because you want to be with them. When you do this, you are making your “friends with benefits” relationship more like a serious relationship. You or your friend might end up having false hopes and hurting each other in the end.
Speak up your desires
This kind of relationship is all about being open about your desires. There is no point to be in such a relationship if one of you can't satisfy the other. Relationships like these require an open mind and should bring excitement to both of you.
Break it when your partner begins to show affection
Although you cleared things from the very start that this relationship is only about sex and there are no strings attached, both of you are human beings which at some point may develop feelings for each other. When you see your partner start to develop feelings for you, break it off in a mature manner. Even if the kind of relationship you have is not ideal, you still have the social responsibility to be kind to others. Besides, you two share a lot of good memories anyway and your friend with benefits deserves some respect.
Don’t be hard on yourself if you develop feelings
In case you are the one who unintentionally develops feelings for your friends with benefits, just be honest and tell your partner about your feeling. You must make a decision from there. If your partner likes you too, that will be in favor for you, but if not, do not take it personally because you agreed from the start that it’s only about sex. Don’t be hard on yourself and stay away from that person. Respect yourself enough to walk away.
Make the most out of it
Your relationship is not an exclusive romantic relationship; it’s all about exploring yourself and having fun. So if you are really into this kind of thing, just make the most of it. Have fun.
Ask yourself if you really want it
You need to think a million times if this is really the kind of relationship that you want. Think of the advantages and disadvantages. Weigh your options. Keep in mind that this relationship is not the kind that will last forever; it is not something that you should settle with. You cannot expect that someday you and your partner will have a commitment, because that’s not the goal of such a relationship.
Keep yourself safe
When you have a friend with benefits, you are not exclusively dating and there is a big possibility that your partner is playing the field or has multiple partners. Have yourself and your partner checked for sexually transmitted diseases regularly and always use protections like condom.
Make and follow your relationship rules
Before hooking up, aside from making things clear, make rules that will work for you both like how often you should see each other, how often you should talk, how you should act in public and if you should tell other people about your relationship. Once you've established your rules, make sure to follow them because if not, you will just screw up. If you cannot do this, having relationships with friends with benefits is not for you.