As what we often hear from our elders, the brain is placed above the heart that is why we should always use our minds especially when making decisions. But this is not always the case because most often than not, the way we see things are often influenced by our emotions be it fear, happiness or even jealousy. Same thing goes when it comes to dating someone. When you begin to doubt your partner, it’s hard to see things clearly because instead of thinking straight, you are overwhelmed by your emotions and instincts. But are gut feelings truly reliable to let them influence your life?
Are Gut Instinct in Relationships Trustworthy?
Women are known to have the gift of intuition or gut feelings. It is a small voice that speaks to you whenever you are in doubt or confused. Intuitions are trustworthy and, if used properly, can save you from a lot of trouble. Imagine how much pain from a heartbreak you can avoid if you only listened to that voice telling you he is not the one for you.
Ego is different from gut feelings. Egos are loud; it is synonymous to your pride. Your ego will convince you that what you really want is real, which sometimes is contrary to what your gut instinct tells you. For example, you want your boyfriend to love you, so you convince yourself that he loves you and it could not be the other way around because if it is, your ego will get hurt. This is one of the reasons why women stay in unhealthy relationships -- because they want to prove that they are loved, even if their gut instinct is telling them that their man is cheating. That’s why when the relationship comes to an end, their self-esteem and ego are totally broken.
Our unconscious mind is equipped with so much information that the conscious part of our mind does not have. For example, you meet someone for the first time and you really have this feeling that you can’t stand him or her. That is your unconscious mind telling you that you have a previous bad experience that closely resembles the experience you have with this person. Subconsciously, it can give you feelings, whether positive or negative, that you can’t explain why you are feeling that way.
Gut Instinct in Relationships You Should Never Ignore
You are in a one-sided relationship
You are the only one who plans all the dates, does the calling and talks about the future. When you start to feel that the relationship is unequal, it means that your man does not feel the same way for you. It takes two to tango as the saying goes. So if your partner does not make you feel special the way you are making him feel, it’s time to say goodbye.
You feel like an option
Does he plan your dates in advance? Or does he only call you for a date on a last minute? You can give a lot of excuses like he is just too busy and he doesn’t know what will come up on his weekend night. But haven’t you ever realized that he only sees you when he wants to and not because you are important to him? Your gut instinct in relationships may be giving you the right answer to your question, you just have to listen carefully.
Your partner is insecure
If he constantly attacks you with his insecure thoughts, then you are not in a healthy relationship. His insecurities are his own wounds and you cannot do anything about them because only he can mend his own wounds.
He is emotionally unavailable
Or you are the one emotionally unavailable. Emotional unavailability is the feeling of awkwardness or uneasiness when one talks about relationships and commitments. If you think your partner or you are emotionally unavailable, don’t enter a relationship because this only means you are not yet ready for a serious relationship.
Your partner keeps disappointing you
Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s fine and forgivable. But if it keeps on happening over and over again, that is a big red flag. If your partner’s actions are different from his words, don’t let him think that it’s okay to do it. You also need to check yourself because you might be the one making excuses for him. If your partner always seems to disappoint you, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. This is another gut instinct in relationships you should not ignore.
You begin to lose yourself
People feel excited when they are in new relationships, and that’s normal. What’s not acceptable is when you begin to lose contact with your friends and let go of your values for the sake of spending more time or pleasing your partner. If you notice that your friends are slowly disappearing and your morals are repeatedly taken for granted, check yourself because you might be in co-dependent relationship which will ultimately lead to a disaster when the relationship ends.
Your partner acts differently when he’s with you
He’s sweet around others but hot-headed when with you. Ask yourself, does he really love you or is he just using you?
Your partner is an energy vampire
We all possess a certain kind of energy within us that gets richer when we are happy and when we are surrounded by people who truly care for us. Check your inner energy meter whenever you are with him, does your energy increase or is he like a poison that intoxicates you?