So, the worst has happened to you. You’re sitting in front of your laptop repeating the same words over and over in your head – my man left me for another woman. But here’s the thing. Delving over what happened or what didn’t, what could have done or should have been done…. It’s an abyss which you do not want to enter. Because once you go down that road, it’s difficult to pull yourself up and go back to living your life normally.
He Left Me for Another Woman: What to Do
You will feel a LOT of emotions…. and that’s okay
See, here’s the thing. A lot of self-help books, gurus and blogs will tell you that you have to move on, to start healing, to start forgiving and blah blah blah. The truth is – don’t listen to them and just do what your heart tells you. And sometimes that will be locking yourself up in a room crying your eyes out; or sometimes that will be abusing the shit out of your ex, or even staring at a wall wondering why this happened to you. Pain, fear, agitation, anger, uncertainty, confusion ….. these are all very normal emotions you will feel during this period.
Our emotions will be one HELL of a roller coaster ride and you can easily give yourself maybe an entire year before you’re back to normal.
Take it one day at a time
As mentioned above, you'll experience a lot of emotions and it takes time to heal and go back to the happy and healthy self again. Don't rush yourself and don’t worry about the future, especially if your wound is fresh. Think about it, sure, but don’t worry too much because it's not going to help you in any way.
Get yourself tested
Especially if he cheated on you with multiple women. Go to your doctor right now and get yourself tested for STDs as well as AIDS/HIV. You need to know your body’s condition and you have to take care of it along with your mind, remember?
Do not take any big decisions right now
You’re in an emotionally vulnerable state right now because you can't get rid of the thought – "he left me for another woman". This means your brain isn’t functioning as properly as it normally would. Moving to a new city, dating someone new or getting a new job – these are all VERY big decisions that you need to put aside temporarily till you feel a little more balanced in your head. If the decision truly is important, involve friends and family and ask for their opinions.
Balance is key
You have to go about your regular routine, because exactly how long do you think you can cry in your bedroom? Your loved ones will worry about you and your job will suffer. Also, don’t forget to eat your meals regularly. I know you really won’t feel like eating anything, but remember – starving yourself is not going to do you any good. Your mind is already in an unhealthy state, you don’t want your body to follow suit, do you? Regulate your sleep, maintain a schedule and join a gym.
It's okay to laugh
Don’t feel guilty or embarrassed if you end up having a good day among the dozens of terrible days. Like I said, you cannot remain in one emotional state of mind forever – you’re bound to feel all sorts of emotions, and happy emotions are also included in that bunch. In fact, be happy that you’ve begun laughing, because it’s a sign that you’ve begun healing and are on your journey to become your old self again.
Be delicate with your children
If you have children, don’t make the mistake of blurting everything out to them in the name of being honest. They might never have a healthy relationship with their father because of that. Simply tell them that you and their dad have been having a lot of problems lately, as a result of which dad has taken some time off and will be spending a few days away. Don’t let your worry of "he left me for another woman" be transferred to your children!
Don’t indulge in the blame game
Yes, of course since he cheated, he’s in the wrong. There are no two ways about it. But here’s the thing – blaming the other woman for your husband’s infidelity isn’t a smart move, especially that, in all likelihood, he may never have even told her he has married. Not to mention the fact that your husband chose to cheat. Even so, know that the blame game gets real nasty real quick, and nobody emerges as the winner. So be the bigger person and don’t indulge in any mud-slinging.
If your husband was the primary income earner in your household, then you have a lot of work to do. You have to look at your housing situation, transportation, finances, medical bills, etc. Find options of places where you can live after the divorce gets finalized.
Get professional help
Sometimes the "he left me for another woman" situation can be too great a stress for you to handle on your own, with friends and family being of no help. In such a case, talk to a doctor or therapist. Not only will they be able to expertly guide you through this traumatic period of your life, but will be able to quickly identify if you’re going through issues like PTSD, and then guide you towards a doctor who can prescribe medicines to you.