Most of us women have had the kind of man in our lives who likes to string us along. He won’t commit but he won’t let go. When you’re together, he’s completely serious relationship material. But when you’re apart, he seems to treat you like an option. Despite this, we keep waiting for them and trying to find out their true potential as a boyfriend. We keep giving them chances, and running to their sides even though we know deep down that they don’t deserve it. So why do men so often do this with women who care about them?
He Won’t Commit But He Won’t Let Go – Why?
Maybe He’s Using You
Have you noticed a pattern in his behavior that seems to show he is only around when it’s convenient for him? Maybe he treats you like a booty call, by just coming over late at night and ditching you in the morning. Does he often take far too long to respond to your texts? Does he like to accept your generosity, but doesn’t reciprocate? He’s definitely using you, especially if he never goes out of his way for you.
He Doesn’t Want to Get Married
Some men don’t even believe in the institution of marriage. Don’t be afraid to ask him how he feels about marriage in general, and if he could see himself marrying you one day. If he respects you and cares about you, then he should be at least willing to talk about it with you. If he dodges the question entirely and consistently avoids the topic, then you’ve got yourself a huge red flag, and you should reevaluate your relationship.
He Doesn’t Believe in Monogamy
Some men ride their high horses so high that they think they can trample over the hearts of many women at a time without consequence. The sad truth is that there often aren’t any consequences for men like this, since their hearts are made of stones. Don’t let yourself become another notch on his bedpost, and make sure that if you’re getting in the sack with him, you’re the only woman in his life (rather than the only woman for tonight).
Try to Get Him Talking
Us women are usually pretty soft-hearted and are willing to hear someone out and give him another chance. It’s a blessing and curse. Bear in mind, don’t immediately jump to conclusions and kick your guy to the curb if you feel a distance growing between you two. Instead, give him a chance to talk. If he opens up a bit, you may find that he’s got a good reason for not committing to you, and you may have a breakthrough and find out why he won't commit but he won't let go.
Maybe the Problem Isn’t Him, It’s You
Swallow your pride and ask him if there’s something about you that’s stopping him from settling down. It’s not easy to hear things about ourselves that aren’t complimentary, but wouldn’t you like to know if there’s something you should change about your behavior so you don’t keep driving every guy that comes into your life away? If the guy is worth changing your behavior or attitude, surely you’ll do what it takes to make him happy.
What Is He Waiting For?
Sometimes guys want to wait for something before they put their focus on a relationship. Maybe he wants to finish his Master’s degree, or he’s working hard to get a promotion. Whatever it may be, he've set a personal goal for himself that he wants to achieve before focusing on a serious relationship or marriage. Don’t be afraid to ask him about it; maybe you can understand him, and be totally supportive and on board for the ride!
The Timing Is Off
Sometimes that’s all there is to it. You two met at the wrong time in each other’s lives. Think about it from his perspective: maybe he’s going to graduate college in less than a year. He doesn’t want to settle down when he’s in the last stretch of prime party time. Maybe he’s buying a house in another city, or is thinking about it. If he’s not settled in his life, he’s not going to settle in a relationship and that’s why he won’t commit but he won’t let go.
Drunken Red Flags
Are you sweet as pie in sobriety and then you become a hot desperate mess after a few shots? If you’re calling your man more than twice in one night, and after he hasn’t answered once, you’re firing off angry or delusional text messages… you could be pushing him away BIG TIME. Even if he’s forgiven you for it in the past, no guy wants to deal with an overbearing crazy who is constantly blowing up his phone.
He Hasn’t Gotten It Out of His System Yet
By it, I mean hot, passionate, drunken, meaningless, sweaty sex. Even if a guy truly cares about you and only you, he still has it in him to go off and ram some babe he just met. And for him, it will mean absolute nothing, because he’s just getting his rocks off. So if he hasn’t had enough of these wild sessions and one night stands (and let’s face it, some men never do), then he’s not ready to lock it down with you.
You’re Perfect, But You’re Not Perfect Enough
He loves just about everything about you, from your body, your laugh to the way you flick your hair. But he just can’t get over the screech of your voice when you’re hyper and excited about something like a shoe sale. It reminds him of his great Aunt Patty who used to leave lipstick marks on his cheek when he was growing up. Maybe this one seemingly insignificant characteristic is why he won’t commit but he won’t let go. And if so, BOY, BYE.