One of the most nerve wracking moments in a girl’s life is waiting for a guy to text her after going out on a first date. All sorts of questions cross your mind – should I text him first? Did he text me too soon? Is he ignoring my text messages? What’s the best way to text without coming off as desperate? And the most important questions--How often should he text me? Here are some answers to calm you down.

How Often Should He Be Texting Me?

How soon should he be texting me after the first date? It is expected that a guy send the first message to a girl within the first 24 hours after meeting her. Waiting any longer can make the initial attraction fade. Some guys even send a quick fun text about 10 minutes after you’ve met. This helps keep the momentum of the interaction going as it creates a situation where it is natural for both of you to text each other. This can make the guy come off as a bit too eager. However, if he keeps the conversation playful, then play along.

So, how long should he be texting me? Usually, it's normal to send texts every day or every other day when you two are getting familiar with each other. Actually, if a guy likes you a lot, he might be tempted to text you at every chance he gets. In some cases this can be interpreted as desperation or that the guy has nothing better to do with his time. Avoid jumping to conclusions. Nevertheless, you need to watch out for needy behavior. It is important for the guy to be able to keep his cool.

Does how soon he reply my text meaning anything? This really depends but this does not mean that he shouldn’t reply to your text messages right away. However, some guys prefer to be unpredictable. Sometimes they reply immediately, while at other times they can take a bit longer to get back to you. And just to spice things up, they might ignore some of your text messages. Don’t take it personally. They’re just trying to spice things up.

Things to Know When Texting with a Guy


Don't Try Too Hard

You could spend hours trying to come up with the wittiest reply ever. It might be a nice touch and make you more attractive to him, but it doesn’t help to brood over it for too long. Just get it over and send what you want to say. Frankly, you might be surprised to get a simple “K” reply after spending half an hour drafting a witty message.


Don't Analyze Their Messages

If he says he’s tired or reschedules a date because of a business meeting, don’t drive yourself nuts wondering whether he has a girlfriend or if he’s avoiding you. Take everything at face value, or you might start acting crazy and push him away.


Don't Make Assumptions Based on Text Messages

How often should he be texting me? Should I ditch him if it always takes him so long to send a text message? Is he needy since he sends me 10 text message every day? Do not dismiss a potential boyfriend for having poor texting skills. Get to know the person or simply call each other whenever you want to talk.


Don't Get Impatient

As previously mentioned, some guys just do not want to look needy. They might take a while to respond to some of your text messages. Sometimes, they might actually be busy. Don’t assume they don’t like you based on how long they take to get back to you.


Expect a Text After the First Date

Expecting him to send you a text after your first date is not being demanding. It’s the least he should do if the date was as awesome as you thought. It’s only natural to expect him to reach out.


You Can Text Him First

If you had a great time on your first date and he doesn’t text first, it is okay to text him first. If he likes you as much as you like him, then it doesn’t really matter who reaches out first. You will not come off as desperate or clingy. If he assumes you are, then he’s not the guy for you anyway. So how often should he be texting me? As much as you’re both comfortable with.


Frequency of Texting Will Reduce

After you have dated for a while, the frequency of texting will reduce. This is normal with any relationship and he’s in no way taking you for granted. He may be actually feeling stable in the relationship and sees no need to text all the time.


Never Fight Via Text

You will fight at some point. Everybody does. But avoid doing it over text message. You’d rather give him a call and sort out your issues without those awkward pauses you’ll have if you text. It’s also very easy to misinterpret a text message, which only makes the fight even worse.


Don’t Play the Waiting Game

Many people try to play the waiting game where you wait a while to text back. You don’t have to do this. Just go for it, text back and waste less time by skipping the mind games. So, you don’t need to have hang-ups about "How often should he be texting me?". Just go with the flow and don’t keep count.


Know When to Move On

If for some reason he never replies your text messages, forget about him. Don’t follow up on your own text and assume he might not see your texts. While it is heartbreaking, try to move on and learn from the experience.


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