It’s always fun being in a relationship, if you know how to play your cards right. However, for first timers, it can be quite the task to get into one. Or if you’ve been out of the dating game for long. Either way, you’re desperate to know how to be in a relationship, in order to avoid the mistakes that others make and to clear any mind blocks that you may have.
Some Tips to Keep in Mind
Dating ≠ marriage
The first thing to remember is that a date is nothing more than two people meeting up and sizing each other up. It doesn’t mean that you have to feel pressured to like someone you’re not attracted to, you know. If things don’t work out, they don’t. No big deal. Go out on another date with another person.
You have to relax your standards
The perfect person exists only in movies, books and anime. Real people are flawed and often have unattractive/unlikable characteristics that will annoy you or turn you off. It is how humans are, you know. If you’re gonna maintain high standards, you’re gonna remain single for the rest of your life.
Be prepared to accept their flaws
Now I’m not saying you accept addiction, abuse and all that serious stuff. BUT if you’re a Marvel lover and she’s a massive DC fan, well, guess what? Nobody’s perfect. You gotta accept that her likes and dislikes aren’t gonna perfectly align with yours, and that’s okay. If you’re trying to mould her into your ideal woman, then you aren’t loving her for who she is. And if you aren’t loving her for who she is, why would you even want to be with her in the first place? This is one of the most important points for how to be in a relationship.
Communication is key
Only you know what you want. The other person isn’t a mind reader who is supposed to magically guess what you’re looking for. Irrespective of whether you want to be in a committed relationship or are simply looking for something casual – you need to be vocal about it.
Share your thoughts on the future
Not marriage, but the immediate future. For example, if you’re going to date, then what kinda dates would both enjoy? Night-ins, lavish dinners, buffet or picnics in the park? Every person has their own idea of how their dates should go, and it’s best to discuss these things in advance, so that if your interests don’t align, you can part ways on good terms.
Getting hurt is unavoidable
So if you’re not getting into a relationship because your delicate feelings will be hurt, well, then remain single forever. Because guess what? Life’s never fair and people will constantly hurt, disappoint and infuriate you. So does that mean you should stop living your life and become a social hermit? No. It simply means you need to be more cautious about the kind of people you want in your life. The same applies to your dating life.
Use your mistakes to become a better (and not bitter) person
How to be in a relationship? By not being bitter.
We’ve all been hurt. We’ve all either dumped someone or been dumped by the person we loved. So instead of hating all woman kind just because one woman chose to desert you, use that as a learning tool. Try and see from her POV as to what she didn’t like in you, why she dumped you and how you can use this to improve yourself as a person. Such an experience will make you better prepared for your future relationship.
Be a good listener
While communication is very important, it is also important to sometimes just let monologues flow. If your date has had a rough day, then be a kind person and listen to what they have to say. Let them vent. Not everything is always about you, you know. And if you don’t think you can devote a little of your time to help unburden someone’s emotional issues, then you aren’t ready to be in a relationship.
Respect is essential
And obviously, it’s a two way street. It’s actually one of the core pillars of how to be in a relationship. It doesn’t matter if they’re bisexual, democrat, theists or vegan – you have to respect the manner in which they are living their life, especially if it’s causing no harm to anybody. The same goes for the respect your partner should give you. And if for any reason you believe you cannot accept one of their core ideologies, it’s best to sit down and have a discussion before hand, rather than having it months down the road when you’re already in a relationship with them.
It’s seldom a bed of roses
Forget what Hollywood and sitcom TV has taught you – real life is tough, and relationships are tougher. You do not always live happily ever after. Much like your relationship with every person you’re close to, your romantic relationship too will see its ups and downs. And you need to be pragmatic – if you’re dating someone in school, know that you only have a 2% chance of making it through college. Most relationships end before that.