His charming personality is what first attracted you to him, isn’t it? And it’s been great with him; you couldn’t have asked for more. But there’s one thing you just can’t handle, and that’s how big of a flirt your guy is. It was cute when you two had just begun dating, but now that you’re a real couple, you can’t help but cringe or worse doubt his intentions.

Why does he even bother flirting so much when he has you? Especially with women you know, because that can be very embarrassing for you on many levels.

How to Deal With a Flirty Boyfriend


Figure out if it genuinely bothers you

Some women tend to make a mountain out of a molehill. You may automatically assume that any attention your man gives other females is romantic in nature. Stop, breathe and ask yourself, "Does his behavior really bother me, or am I behaving exactly how a stereotypical overprotective girlfriend is supposed to behave?"

Maybe you’re the one who is insecure and jealous, meaning the problem lies with you and not him. However if the problem is with his behavior, then…


Find out why he’s flirting

Is your relationship in trouble? Is your guy very sociable by nature? Does he like attention so much that he can't go a day by without getting attention from women? It’s very much possible that you’re so busy with your life that you aren’t giving him enough of your time or attention, forcing him to act out like this. Either way, assumptions don’t work. So go ahead and ask.


Talk to him

Maybe he’s too oblivious to realize he’s hurting your feelings by behaving in such a manner. So sit down and have a talk with him. Explain to him how you feel and then ask him why he flirts with so many women all the time. Bottling your emotions will do you no good, because those emotions are bound to come out at some time or the other. And when they do, God bless you guys. Talking is literally one of the first things to do when working on how to deal with a flirty boyfriend.


Give him a taste of his own medicine

If you’ve talked to him and he just wouldn’t listen to you, then treat him how he treats you. Go out of your way to flirt with guys in front of him. Compliment another guy and say things like, "Wow. His girlfriend must be really lucky to have him." Every once in a while, have some physical contacts, like hugs, touching shoulders, etc., with other guys in front of him just to make him uncomfortable. Petty, I know, but whatever floats your boat.


Befriend his friends

Especially if he flirts a lot with your female friends. Another reason for doing so is that he may not be as jealous of you flirting with random guys as he will be when you flirt with his buddies. It’s sure to get a reaction out of him.


Don’t assume he’s a cheater

In all probability, he’s flirting because he’s always been a little too open-minded with women, or because he’s an attention seeker. Entertain these two possibilities before flying off the handle and accusing he is cheating on you. Especially without any proof. PS – flirting isn’t considered as proof. So do NOT make this mistake when assessing how to deal with a flirty boyfriend.


Put your foot down

The next time he flirts with someone and it puts you in an awkward position, take him to the side (away from the group) and tell him very seriously that his behavior is not only making you uncomfortable, but is embarrassing you in front of your friends.


Set down rules

Don’t confuse this with dictating what he should do and who he should speak with. No. Tell him how you expect him to behave in public especially when he's with you and how you would appreciate if he doesn't flirt with every woman in every party that you two go out as a couple. Tell him what forms of flirting are acceptable to you e.g. paying compliments and which forms aren’t e.g. holding hands, hugging or kissing other women. Make sure you two are on the same page.


Don’t expect him to change overnight

Changes take time, especially when they’re related to the personality of a person. Give him time and your patience, because he’s bound to make mistakes on his road to recovery. Be there by his side and encourage him, instead of constantly criticising him and arguing with him over his nature.

How to Deal With a Flirty Boyfriend When YOU Are at Fault

So you took that time to introspect and it turns out, the problem isn’t in your boyfriend’s gregarious nature, but in your nature. So what can you do to fix this situation?

Understand why you’re behaving like this

Maybe you’re insecure. Maybe a previous BF cheated on you and you have trust issues. Maybe you’re simply jealous and possessive in nature. Maybe you lack confidence and assume that every flirtatious advance at another woman is an attack on how “ugly” or “fat” you are. Get a grip, woman. No man has the patience to deal with such shit. Learn to deal with your emotions before projecting your problems on him.


Enrich your life

Maybe the reason you’re so insecure is because your guy is the centre of your universe and you tend to take it personally whenever he does something that is not aimed at you. The most probable reason for such behavior is that you’re a loner. That’s not healthy. Clean your mess up girl because he’s definitely not gonna deal with your issues for a very long time. He’s bound to reach the end of his patience sooner than later. In this case, you need to distract yourself a little bit, so go out, make new friends, take up new hobbies, learn more career skills, visit old friends or family, etc.


Move on

If you hate how much he flirts and he doesn’t mend his ways or if you can’t sort out your own emotional issues, leading to lots of fights and arguments between you two, then it’s best to end things there and then. You’re better off with a shy guy.


Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment.