Love and work are known to be two biggest things that we easily get addicted to. However, frequently this addiction can go beyond all reasonable proportions, and in this case it’s really necessary to take a deep breath and consider quitting the addiction. Whether you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend or find yourself spending too much time on your work, here is the guide to help you detach emotionally.
How to Detach Emotionally from Your Ex
Cry It Out
You think, we couldn’t come up with a worse piece of advice, but this is how your organism would cope with an overwhelming grief. Take your time to lie motionless in an embryo position cuddling your pillow, and let it all out. Music always helps – find the tunes that work best for you, and howl like crazy until the knot inside you is gone. It’s perfect if your parents or close friends are around to listen to you – confiding in your dearest people is the best remedy.
Stop Idealizing Your Past
You may find it very tempting to go through the best memories you’ve shared with your ex, but avoid this welcoming trap, since it can result in your irresistible desire to try and get him back. Keep in mind the reason you broke up and stick to it as your life saver. Once you get really angry, you will find it easier to learn how to detach emotionally from the one who has hurt you that much.
Avoid Him by All Means
You don’t really have to see him again – unless you have to sign your divorcing papers! And even in this case, remain as detached as possible – you have nothing more to share, and all he could bring into your life now is just more tears and self-deprecation. Don’t go to the places he visits, and stay away from the places you’ve been to together. You’re on your own now, and you should learn to cope with it. This also includes avoiding his accounts on social networks – we know it’s very alluring, but you should combat your desire to know how he’s been doing.
Avoid His Friends
What you should do as well is to try to refrain from seeing his friends unless they are your close friends too. In this latter case, they can help you to go through this tragic stage in your life. Other than that, don’t allow anyone to remind you of how ‘happy’ you’ve been together to spare yourself another session of booze and tears.
Clog Your Sentimentality
Don’t let your broken heart dictate what’s good and what’s bad – it’s extremely deceiving. This is one of the last steps to let it go completely without return. No memories, no songs, no movies, and no pictures of you together, otherwise each of these pieces will leave you shattered.
Get Rid of Any Keepsakes
Get rid of everything he gave you or what was inspired by him – your diaries, little souvenirs, soft toys and dried flowers between the pages of your favorite poems. By keeping all these once precious things out of sight, it’s easier to find how to detach emotionally from your past relationship.
Find a New Meaningful Occupation
You have to carry on with your own life. Change your job, start surfing or sky-diving, go out of your comfort zone. And remember that time does heal – no one expects you to live on as if nothing happens, but in the end of it all, you will find your strength to be better – and wiser – as each day goes.
How to Detach Emotionally from Your Work
Leave Your Workplace in Time
It’s the saddest to see people staying late in the office because they have nowhere to go really. Try to figure out the reasons for your overtimes. Are you satisfied with your private life? Do you keep up with your working schedule? Most of the time, you already know the answers. So make up your mind and change accordingly.
Whatever steals your time at work, identify these little buggers and get rid of them. Be it your abusive social media surfing, or nonsensical chatters with your workmates, concentrate on work to get it done faster. Although, you should allow at least five minutes per hour to release your steam, like playing the kicker or sipping coffee while reading your favorite book.
Make Friends with Your Colleagues
It always helps to grow fonder of the work you do and start treating your workplace as just another welcoming place in your life. Going out with your colleagues after you’ve made friends is a great practice as well.
Find Your Oasis
Your work is not only about work. As you spent the biggest part of your day here, try to make it as cozy and relaxing for you as possible. Decorate your workstation with meaningful objects that you can relate to, take a break to listen to your favorite music or chat for ten minutes with someone you can call a soul mate, either in person or by phone. Also, laugh!
Take Time Off
If you find yourself slammed by your schedule, plan your vacations to be completely different from your working environment. Desert islands, Ibiza clubbing, etc. – find your ideal escape and go for it.
Build Your Sacred World Outside Your Work
And lastly, remember that your work is not everything in your life. It’s here for you to support yourself, but what really matters is your time outside the office. Read, sing, play the guitar, go to the gym, make friends with strangers – anything that can make you feel alive again, like living a purposeful, exciting life, not just crawling exhausted through your days and nights.