It can be very difficult to distance yourself from a man you used to have strong feelings for. I know because I’ve been there. It takes a GREAT amount of willpower and emotional strength to move forward, which is probably why a lot of women fail and go back falling into the arms of men who they swore would never go back to. Distancing yourself can be tougher if the man you want to stay away from is not letting go of you. Don't worry, this article will teach you all the tricks you need to distance yourself from a guy with grace.
How to Distance Yourself from a Guy
Know what distancing really means
Before you begin the process of distancing yourself from him, it would be wise to understand the difference between emotional distancing and being a jerk. I should begin by telling you girls that you should NEVER believe that being detached equals to being emotionless, aloof or emotionally unavailable.
It’s just distancing yourself emotionally from someone being with whom is a waste of your time, energy and emotions. And you do not see a future together for whatever reasons. Maybe you initiated the breakup or maybe he did. It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you deal with it and how you can move on in a healthy way.
Figure out what keeps you attached
There’s no point in doing all these things I’m gonna ask you to do, if you’re still unable to let go. What is it that is drawing you to him? Try to get to the core of the problem. Whatever it is, you need to tell yourself that you guys broke up for a reason, and whatever quality of his that is attracting you isn’t enough for you to sustain and carry on with the relationship. Keep this in mind whenever you want to work on how to distance yourself from a guy.
Reduce all forms of communication
And if you can, completely cut it all off. I know it’s an extreme step, but the more you are in touch with him, the harder it becomes for you to distance yourself from him. Speaking of which...
Reduce indirect contact
Everybody knows about direct forms of communication, but what about the indirect ones? You know, like stalking his social media accounts or posting photos you know he’ll see? It also involves making mutual friends send messages indirectly to him, or receiving messages from them on his behalf. Whatever form of indirect communication you are guilty of, stop it!
Don't bottle up your emotions
Imagine a volcano. Now imagine that a huge rock has been placed at the opening of the volcano, which is sitting dormant. But when it’s time for it to erupt, the lava has nowhere to go because the stone is covering the only exit it has. So what happens? The volcano explodes and so, it destroys itself. This is exactly what will happen if you bottle up your emotions. You’ll soon enough have an emotional meltdown, and you don’t need me to tell you that isn’t good enough for you. You cannot work on how to distance yourself from a guy without having a healthy way to vent your pent up emotions!
Have a support system
This support system also doubles as your venting factory, meaning these are the people you head over to when you want to vent your feelings or emotions. Support is essential, especially when you’re going through an emotionally traumatic period of your life. Friends and family are the first that come to one’s mind when thinking of a support system. However, you can also turn to strangers on the internet, for instances websites like 7Cups of Tea, for support. Of course, if you were abused in your relationship, then it’s best to seek professional help or in the very least, join a support group.
Find a new hobby
Or nurture an old one. Whatever it takes to keep your mind off the man you want to distance yourself from. Painting, travelling, pottery, food classes, starting a blog..... whatever it is, just do it! If nothing at all, then surround yourself with books or Netflix and get lost in the adventures of other people.
Find interesting people
I know it’s easier said than done, but hang out more especially at places that you seldom visit, like museums or music concerts. Befriend a new circle of people and let them give you fresh experiences in your life.
Don’t fear the pain
When you’re thinking of how to distance yourself from a guy, always know that the pain of detachment is temporary, but its fruits are permanent. As already mentioned in the beginning of the article, a lot of women try and fail to maintain an emotional distance because it takes a lot of willpower and strength to go through all that pain and still come out of it relatively okay.
You might feel like you can't trust or love another man again, but that’s just your overworked emotions making you all dramatic. You just need to push through and have faith that you will come out stronger and better once this ordeal is over. Because you will.