Having a crush is all fun and games…till it turns into unrequited feelings that go on for weeks, and even months. You start doubting yourself, get anxiety, lose self confidence and maybe even start obsessing over why your crush doesn’t like you back. And that’s exactly why you’re looking for ways to get over someone you never dated, aren’t you? Well, you’re in good hands.
So…How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated?
Step #1 is always acceptance. If you’ve ever read up on alcoholics or drug abusers getting professional help, you’ll know that they are told the first step towards recovery is always accepting that they have a problem. And your problem is that you have unrequited feelings. You need to accept that that person is never gonna like you, and that you need to move on.
Deluding yourself into believing that there is a minute possibility of them liking you back, no matter how far into the future, is nothing but a waste of your time and energy on something that will never happen.
It Was Never a Relationship
And you need to tell this to yourself over and over again. Here’s the thing: Just because you like someone, doesn’t mean they aren’t obliged to like you back. Don’t be hung up on what could have been – that will lead you down a path you’d rather never visit. This is why it’s important that you…
Don’t give yourself even a minute’s worth of free time, because we both know where that will lead to. Instead, one of the best ways on how to get over someone you never dated is to busy yourself with your study or work. Don’t have enough to work on or study? Well then:
Find New Hobbies
If you’ve ever wanted to follow your passions but never really had the time or inclination to do so, then now’s the time. Bring out the paint brushes, the sewing kit, the baking tools, the guitar or whatever the hell it is that you wanna do, and then bloody do it! Hobbies not something up your alley? Then start volunteering. Write a novel. Join a Yoga class. Do whatever it takes to keep you busy!
You’re Allowed to Grieve
I mean, just because a relationship doesn’t exist doesn’t mean that your emotions weren’t real. They were as real as can be, and not having someone love you back hurts. So cry, wallow in pity and lock yourself in a room for some time. Get all the negative emotions out of your system. It’s okay. But remember:
Don’t Go Overboard
Don’t become that person who’s so negative that they were shunned by everybody around them. Or the one who would cry at the drop of a hat, or the shut in who wouldn’t come out of their room. Grieve; don’t whine. You’re not a baby. Build a bridge and get over it.
Don’t Hold on to Anger
It’s very easy to shift the blame on someone else (your crush) instead of accepting that the problem lies with you. So don’t become one of those bitter losers out there who blame others because they can’t see their own flaws. Like I said earlier – no one is obliged to like you in return. When it comes to how to get over someone you never dated, know that all these negative emotions are going to make the healing process for you that much more difficult.
It’s easy to hate yourself just because your affections weren’t returned, but here’s the thing. Just because you weren’t good enough for your crush, doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for anybody out there. Remember - your worth is not tied to your crush’s rejection of you. You are your own person and you need to love yourself in order to prove this to yourself!
Give Yourself Pep Talks
Because why not? You’re young, decent looking, smart and have a solid friend circle. What’s not to like about you? If your friends and family can see good in you but your crush can’t, then that’s not your fault, is it? You’re still you, and you’re a fantastic person. If your crush can’t see that, then find someone who does!
Delete them everywhere – right from social media to your phone contacts. If they’re someone important that you have to keep in touch with due to official reasons, then keep contact to a minimum. And do NOT stalk them on social media. Don’t stoop that low.
Talk to Your Friends
How to get over someone you never dated? Simple: Talk to your friends! Talking is therapeutic, so go ahead and pour your heart out to those you trust. Not only will that make you feel lighter, but the emotional support you’ll receive will help hasten your recovery process. If not friends, then confide in colleagues or family members. If even that is not an option for you, then try anonymous forums, chat rooms on the internet. But if even that is too much for you, then you can…
Write Down Your Feelings
Much like talking to someone, writing down what you’re feeling is wonderfully therapeutic for your brain. Now you can do it the old fashioned way where you jot down your thoughts in an actual diary with a pen and paper…. Or you can start your own private blog and write about how you feel on it. Or maybe post on forums anonymously – whatever floats your boat. So long as you’re writing down what you’re truly feeling, you’re allowing yourself to heal emotionally.