You guys broke up for whatever stupid reasons that you thought were too overwhelming, and now after weeks apart you’ve realized – it’s just not worth it. Being with her and handling all her flaws is far, far better than being without her and living your life alone. Or at least better than wasting time with another woman who can't hold a candle to her. But what can you do to get back together with her?
How to Get Your EX Girlfriend Back
Know it takes time
Love it or hate it, you can’t go barging in to her life and pretend like nothing ever happened. You’re the one making an entry. So it’s up to you to do it nice and slow. Because what exactly do you think will happen if you make a grand entrance? She’ll run crying into your arms? Yeah, no. That only happens in movies.
Ease your way in
Don’t just jump the ship and start spilling your heart out about how you never want to lose her again, how you want to get back together, etc. That will scare her off. Just have a conversation like you would have with a new friend: How’s work? How’s your dog? How’s your new diet going? Keep it a little distant/general in nature.
Don’t be pushy
Especially if the breakup was her decision. Letting her know you’re ready to give things another shot is one thing. But to force yourself back into her life when she doesn’t even want you is another. Just because you’ve realized your mistake or seen things “clearly” doesn’t mean it’s the same for her. Maybe you’re sadder without her, but she’s happier without you. Ever thought of that? Trying is one thing, and being pushy is another. So respect her and do it her way or at least the subtle and gentle way.
Start with a text
Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But out of sight, out of mind, remember? So when you are wondering how to get your ex girlfriend back, know that it’s best to begin small. Begin with a short, sweet and sincere text, because otherwise she’s going to think you’re looking for a hook up and nothing more. Text her something like:
“Just heard your favourite Taylor Swift song on the radio, and it reminded me of that time we hung out and laughed so much that we spilled our food on our clothes. Happy memories! Hope you’re doing well. Love, xyz.”
Wait for her response
If she ignores your text or responds negatively, drop the subject entirely. Take the hint and move on. However if she responds positively, then text her a little more like 3-4 times per day. Now that the conversation is normal…
And tell her you want to hang out with her, no strings attached. Do not do this via texts or emails because you will more likely be shut down. Tell her the decision is in her hands but you would love it if she would come. NEVER beg, cry, or stalk her if she refuses your suggestions at any time.
Go on a date with her
Make her the centre of your attention and simply make her happy. Again, keep the topics of your conversation general in nature. You both know each other inside out, so there’s really no point in having a heart to heart conversation. At least, not right now. When the date ends, just sincerely tell her that you’ve missed her, thank her for giving you time, send her home and then part your ways.
Meet at a familiar place
One that has good memories embedded in both of your minds. Maybe pick the restaurant you had dinner at on your first date, or the amusement park where she said she had the best time of her life. A familiar environment immediately makes her feel more comfortable, open and safe, thus making her more likely to reciprocate your gestures positively.
However, if she’s the one initiating deeper conversations and discussing previous issues with you, then you have to open up as well. If she criticises you, don’t immediately become defensive. Listen to her. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re agreeing with her. But if you realize you really did something wrong to her, apologise. Yeah, that’s right. Swallow your pride, man. That’s basically one of the most important things to do about how to get your ex girlfriend back.
Don’t bring up the past
At least not on your first date with her.
Make use of friends
Sometimes it can happen that she’s not confident enough to meet up with you on a date. So why not make her more comfortable by hanging around people she trusts? These can be mutual friends or her friends. Hang out at places where an entire group can have fun. Give her time to become more comfortable with you and then with just you.
Don’t discuss the time apart
Especially if one or both of you had other dates or had one night stands. This is an absolutely no-no. She is NOT interested in the dates you went out on, much less the number of women you had sex with.
The only exception to this rule is a date that went so bad that it left you terribly embarrassed or got you into trouble. That’s because showing her your vulnerable side, or your willingness to share such personal failures, will make her automatically more comfortable in your presence.
Do what she wanted you to do
If you guys broke up because you didn’t want to commit, guess what. You’ll have to commit if you want her back.
If you broke up because you didn’t want to marry, then at least promise her an engagement.
If you broke up because you’re a possessive person, work on it. Seek therapy if necessary. Getting the drift?
Because no sane woman will rekindle a romance that is going to remain stagnant, alright? It’s practically common sense to make changes for better when you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back.