How to live with your ex? Simple. If you have a choice, then DON’T. It complicates things unnecessarily and almost always tends to worsen an already poor situation. However, if your job, location, rent lease or your financial situation is not allowing you to relocate to a new place, you obviously have no choice but to live with your ex.
First things first.
You will not be able to move on.
Until and unless you’re the kinda person who is completely in control of their emotions, moving on is gonna be a massive pain in the ass, and frankly, a fruitless exercise. I mean, how do you get over someone who you literally meet the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night before going to sleep?
Tips to Help You Live with Your Ex
Be prepared for awkwardness and fake politeness
I mean, if you can pull of being a complete bitch who’s oblivious to the existence of your ex, kudos! We strive to be like you. But if you’re an average female, you will have to be the mature person and be polite (irrespective of how you truly feel) when in the presence of your ex.
And then the awkwardness of having to see someone every single day when all you want to do is go to the ends of the earth to avoid them, is going to be a living hell for you.
Take a break
You can live with parents, friends or even a colleague till the dust settles down. After you’ve broken up, both of you need to calm down, right? So take a cooling period. Avoid communication with your ex for these days. And then, go back to your place, and treat him like you would treat a colleague or a client in a formal setting.
It’ll take a lot of time, patience and sacrifices
…to make this work. Let’s be honest. Until and unless this was an amicable break up, how to live with your ex is gonna be tough. Especially if he brings home partners before you do – that’s when you’ve lost the revenge test.
Come up with rules
In situations like the ones mentioned above, it is always best to have an understanding that neither will bring home a partner home. Lay down your duties, help, chores and financial assistance clearly. Give it in writing if need be. Right now, you need to have as little arguments as possible. Even so…
You will discover a whole new meaning to the word “petty”
Look. You’re both human and there’s bound to be moments where either or both of you will feel the need to take revenge in the pettiest of ways. Passive aggressive behavior is to be expected, as well as arguments on the stupidest of topics. You just have to take a deep breath and take it all in. OR, you know, you can go ahead like a charging bull and make matters worse than they already are. Up to you.
Try for a shift change
The best way for you to work on how to live with your ex is to see as little of him as possible. If at all possible, apply for a change in your shift’s timings. If that’s not possible, stay at the office more, work on your office work there and avoid taking your work home. Apart from keeping you away from your ex, this will also help you earn brownie points with your boss and/or colleagues.
Increase your night outs
Hang out more with your friends. If you don’t have that many friends, go to bars, malls or coffee shops and make more friends. I mean, do whatever it takes to stay away from home. Make it a place where you only eat, rest and sleep. If that is not possible for you, then:
Lock yourself inside your room
Listen to music, watch series on Netflix or log on to the internet to talk to your friends. Basically, doing anything you can in order to avoid bumping into your ex. Also go to sleep earlier. This will shorten your period of over analyzing the situation between you and your ex. The less you over think, the better you will feel mentally.
If you have a flat mate as a mutual friend…
Then their life is gonna be hell. You both will use them to confide your feelings to them, and they will have to bear the burden of not being able to share what they themselves feel about the situation. So try your best to not involve them in any emotional drama happening between you and your ex. This is important when you’re working on how to live with your ex. You already have lost your ex – you don’t want to lose another person from your life, right?
It’s okay to hate your ex
Look. You can’t always be the mature person. Sometimes, you just have to give in to your baser emotions and just hate your ex for breaking up your relationship. And that’s okay. It’s better to vent and be frustrated over these feelings you have, instead of bottling them and having them overflow at inopportune moments.
You’ll have to lie to friends and family
That’s the #1 thing you have to be prepared for how to live with your ex. You’re going to have your ups and your downs (mostly downs) but you can’t let your loved ones know that. Because you know what they’re gonna say, right? You don’t need them to be unnecessarily judgmental to your situation. So it’s best to lie to them and let them believe you’re doing okay.