So you met someone at a party or on the internet, and you two hit it off immediately. But the catch is that this person lives hundreds of miles away from you, and that is why both of you agree to be in a long distance relationship. The problem, however, is that you’ve never been in such a relationship before, which is exactly why you’re up late at night searching on how to make long distance relationship work. Don’t worry. We have it all covered. Any relationship can work provided the two individuals involved in it are always willing to put their relationship first.
How to Make Long Distance Work When in a Relationship
Do something together
Even when the two of you aren’t physically together. And yes, it’s possible. For example, watch your fav shows or movies together, and share the reviews and your reaction to spoilers or plot twists. Read each other’s fav books and share your opinions about them. Text each other when watching shows or movies and share your thoughts in real time with your significant other.
Accept your different comfort levels
See, here’s the thing. Just because you’re willing to be in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean he’s as eager as you are, or vice versa. For some people, out of sight means out of mind, while for others, distance makes the heart grow stronger. Plus, he may have a different way of coping with the lack of physical proximity. For example, he might want to discuss everything that bothers him about the relationship, while you’re the more “I’ll cross the bridge when I come to it” kinda gal. Always remember this when working on how to make long distance work in a relationship.
Understand the different kinds of closeness
Physical proximity is just one way of being close to someone. Other ways include emotional, cultural, philosophical and even religious closeness. If physical proximity isn’t a possibility, then work your way to become close with each other via other ways.
Have a regular meeting schedule
That’s because the anticipation of meeting someone you love only makes the meeting sweeter when it actually happens. Also make sure that your meeting schedules do not conflict with your professional schedules; there’s no point in making your work suffer because of your personal life. And remember to make your visits alternating in nature – one month you can visit him while the other month he can visit you.
Book flight or train tickets in advance
Because your tickets will be cheaper than booking them at the last moment. Duh.
Don’t forget to put “me” in “we”
Initially when the two of you meet, you will want to be by each other's side 24x7. But that feeling will quickly begin to wear off for at least one of you, which is when the idea of spending an entire week with you or him could become more cumbersome than exciting. So begin giving yourself some "me" time, and offer him the same when the two of you hang out. Personal space is important.
Time zones can be a problem – and that’s okay
This is just part and parcel of how to make long distance work. As is with the case of scheduling visits, Skype calls or phone calls. On some nights you can stay awake and talk to him while on the other nights, he can do that for you. Not only will this strategy teach you patience, but also make your conversations with each other much more meaningful.
Rituals are good
Reassurance plays a big role when it comes to relationships. You need to be reassured when you sleep every night that your relationship will still be there in the morning when you wake up. And the best way to ensure a feeling of reassurance for both parties is to insist on certain rituals. For example, you can end every phone call with “Good night, my love” or something more meaningful to you. Then you and your partner can sleep easy.
Bridge cultural differences
Cultural differences can be a huge problem, which is why in order to make things work, you need to sit down and if possible, Skype with each other about what gestures, words, phrases and actions are acceptable, and which are borderline rude or obsessive. For example, a playful “Fuck off” from an American woman might seem inordinately inappropriate for a man living in Japan because of their conservative culture.
Trust is paramount
If you’re the jealous, possessive or suspicious type, when thinking about how to make long distance work, you should bear in mind that the #1 thing you need in a long distance relationship is trust; without it you have nothing. Now that trust can be for something as little as him keeping his promise of going to bed early or something as big as him just being only friends with the new hottie in the office.
Know that communication may not always be possible
Sometimes it will be because of work schedules, personal commitments, differing time zones or even internet problems. The bottom line is that even if he or she can't be there every time you message or call, this does not give you license to go overboard with drawing the worst scenarios imaginable. If communication does break off once or twice, the person who didn't make it should call back timely and explain with patience to avoid causing unnecessary misunderstandings.