The dating world can be exciting, as well as full of confusion. There is the need to make a good – scratch that – a great first impression, as well as understanding the person you are dating. You gotta keep your demons hidden for as long as you can, right fellas? Well for one reason or another, there is also understandably quite a bit of tension when on a date and we will admit that it is much easier for a date to go south when tension is not handled properly.

How to Not Be Nervous on a Date

There are techniques which help calm the nerves so as to help us act better in any given situation. Now, let's get closer and see how to keep calm during a date.

Talk yourself up to have confidence

Before heading out on a date, check yourself out in front of the mirror and talk yourself up (not down). Remind yourself that your date could have said no to this arrangement but here you are, so it must be a good thing right? Encourage yourself. The word here is autosuggestion. When you repeat a message to yourself, it becomes more real with each repetition. So the more you practice "talking yourself up", the easier it becomes, and the quicker you get to see results.


Maintain eye contact

This is a wonderful tip on how to not be nervous on a date. Look into your date's eyes while talking and maintain eye contact constantly during the entire duration of the date. Even if it is hard at first, you will realize that the more you maintain eye contact, the more chances are that they will try to break the contact. This greatly improves your confidence and as it increases, nervousness shrinks into the background. When you decide to maintain eye contact, go through with it because chickening out is as bad, if not worse, as doing nothing at all.


Interlock your fingers while talking

Since the fingers and toes are the farthest body parts from the brain, they can sometimes be the hardest to control. So if one is nervous, those are the parts that start shaking first; this can be a bummer when passing the salt with your jittery hands. So to aid calmness (or the appearance of it), keep your fingers interlocked, as this sends a signal to the brain that "all is well". This tip can be used throughout the date or in any situation where nervousness tries to creep in, like a job interview.


They may be as nervous as you are

Just knowing this fact greatly improves the chances of being calm. Because you two are on this date together, neither of you know exactly what to expect. So while you are busy being nervous, well, so are they. If you grasp this fact, you are well on your way to becoming a master of dates, and then you can quickly be "on top" of the situation by remaining calm.


Get to the place first

Nervousness tends to increase when in an unfamiliar environment. So to aid yourself, arrive early to the date to scope the place out, so that you can settle in easier. And perhaps take a drink while you wait. This boosts confidence and by default, you become more comfortable, giving you an edge over the person who arrives later. This also leaves an impression that you are dependable (of course, this means you should stick to it). While waiting, you have the time to practice other points like visualizing and talking yourself up; all these increase the chances of you having a successful and enjoyable date.


Remember, you have nothing to prove

It’s a date, not a visa interview. Nervousness means there is probably something, but you are there to know another person and he or she is probably there for the same reason. So, just do your best to let your date know you; don’t go out of your way to impress anybody. Remember that you are okay just the way you are. Give short, honest answers, laugh when something is funny, and express honest opinions about things. If it is to grow to a blissful relationship, it would be better to be a relationship with the real you. Those kinds of relationships are easier to maintain and this is one of the most important part in learning how to not be nervous on a date because you get nothing to hide.


Visualize success

We've all heard that we can visualize just about anything into existence. Most of us use this technique to get a new job or house. What we do not know is that we can improve our chances of a successful date by visualizing it that way. So before you go on that date, sit down and relax, close your eyes for a couple of minutes and envision a successful date. If nothing else, it’ll simply take away tension and improve your chances of staying calm and thus, less nervous. If at any point things start to go south, remember what you visualized…this helps too.



From whichever work of life you come from, breathing definitely helps with one thing or another. You may have discovered it when you kicked that stone as a child or during interviews. When one is nervous or in pain, the oxygen sent to the brain is reduced. So when we take long deep breaths, the influx of extra oxygen calms the body. This technique has been used since the beginning of time and it is still widely used today. So the next time you find yourself having a "panic attack" while on a date, subtly try out this age-old technique and you will find it work every time. You can pass on this knowledge when telling a friend how to not be nervous on a date (wink wink!)


More Tips to Try

  • Remember that you can't control everything during the date since there are so many things out of your reach. Just do your best and leave everything else to the universe. 

  • Be sure to aim low and also anticipate the worst results. In this way, any progress, even the smallest one, can bring you great pleasure. 

  • Choose a place where the food is manageable. In this case, pasta or cheese pizza is not the best choice.

  • If you can, play some soothing or feel-good music and you two even can dance for a while to warm things up.

  • Before leaving for the date, take a drink to relax yourself and make yourself more sociable. 

  • Prepare yourself with some interesting topics beforehand to help reduce the possible awkward silence during the date. 

  • Make sure you look good. Wear the most comfortable and good-looking outfit and you can ask your friends' opinion about what to wear. This helps to make you confident about your look and yourself. 

  • Tune your nervousness to the possibility of finding the love of your life. Just focus on the adventure and potential happiness.


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