I get it, you know, the thrill of a new relationship where everything is so fun and exciting. Even the most mundane of activities suddenly become new adventures for you, simply because you have someone by your side that you like to spend your life with. Great! But more often than not, young couples make the mistake of going too fast too quickly in their relationship, as a result of which things just crash and burn. Be smarter than that and find ways to slow down your relationship.

How to Slow Down Your Relationship

Rather than being in a relationship that is moving ahead at an uncomfortable pace, it's better to take the time to smell the roses. So what can you do about the pickle that you’re in?

Understand why you want to slow things down

You should be slowing things down for the right reason. For example, "He’s too nice of a guy" is not a reason to slow things down. However, "It’s been 5 months only and he’s begun discussing marriage" is a more valid reason to slow things down.


Go out on lesser dates

This is kind of obvious, but most people just do not realize it anyway. So if the two of you are hanging out every night or even every second day together, stop. Shift your dates to twice a week; go ahead and establish a few date nights. If he asks and you’re not ready to talk, tell him your work is getting in the way, or that going out on too many dates has taken up a lot of your time that should be spent on important projects.


Reduce the time periods of your dates

So if you’re used to spending 4-5 hours on a date, cut down on that time if you want to work on how to slow down your relationship, especially if you can't reduce the number of dates you go out on with your partner.


Opt for day dates

The thing about dates during the night is that both parties are almost always free from work or personal commitments, which is why these dates take longer time to end. In this case, opt for dates during the day. Most people are busy during the day, so if you use work or personal commitments as an excuse from time to time, your partner really won’t mind ending things earlier.


Abstain from sex

Too much sex in the beginning usually results in very little sex afterward. That’s because the thrill is gone. So if you want to keep things interesting till the very end, not only should you avoid night dates, but you should also avoid spending the night at his house or let him stay at yours.


Try group dates or hangouts

This is actually a very smart way of how to slow down your relationship. You get to spend time with him, but it’s not just him that you hang out with. Ask him to invite his friends, or simply invite yours. Not only will it lessen the formal or serious mood of your date, but it will also give you both a chance to hang out with a newer set of people and possibly, having more fun.


Focus on your life

A lot of people, especially women, tend to give up a lot of their time and emotional energy to their partner. As a result of this, they end up ignoring their own friends, family and even professional commitments. Don’t be that bimbo. Have a life of your own. This will limit your dependency on him, which is good for you.

You partner shouldn’t be the centre of your universe –a large portion of it is ok. If you find it difficult to let go, then take up a new hobby or passion. Or you can always volunteer for a cause close to your heart. The busier you are, the lesser time you will devote to the relationship.


Stick to your decision

Look, it can be easy to break your promise of limiting yourself, mostly because of the strong feelings you have for him. But you have to remind yourself that whatever you’re doing is for the good of both of you, as well as for the sake of your relationship. If you don’t stick to your decision, you will only end up hastening the demise of your relationship with him.


Cut down on your communication

Lesser calls, texts, DMs, Facebook likes, Twitter retweets – whatever works. It’s gonna be difficult in the beginning, but if you want to work on how to slow down your relationship, then you really have no choice. Now, I’m not saying you end up ignoring him. No. When he contacts you, always respond. But make sure that communication from your end is lessened. For example, if you used to call him 3 times a day, now make it once per day.


Talk with him openly

Obviously, this should be the first thing to do, but we all know how big cowards we can be when it becomes to discussing how we truly feel, especially when it’s with someone close to our heart. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Just make sure you’re gentle and considerate when you break the news to him. Also don’t forget: never blame him, otherwise things can go downhill very quickly.


Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment.