Sometimes, even the act of talking to strangers normally can prove to be a difficult task for some of us. This is why we either end up being terrible at conversations, or not talking to people at all! And sometimes, just sometimes, a few of us end up being complete bitches to the ones around us. The worst part is that we realize that we’re being a piece of shit…but then, how to stop being a bitch?
You need to begin by assessing why it is that you feel the need to be a bitch. Do you overcompensate because of your poor social skills? Is it anxiety or emotional trauma that you’re trying to repress? Is it because you think the world owes you something?
10 Quick Tips to Stop Being a Bitch
What a lot of people don’t know about people suffering from anxiety is that they sometimes feel threatened in the presence of other people – sometimes by their achievements and sometimes by merely their appearances. In such a case, they say or do something in order to inflate their ego – which invariably ends up them being bitchy to others in order to humiliate them.
So what can you do? Simple – learn to hold your tongue. Realize that the world won’t end if you aren’t the best in everything, that it’s okay to be flawed and imperfect, that even the person standing in front of you has their own set of flaws and insecurities.
Divert Your Attention
If your being a bitch is because of emotional issues (insecurity, frustration, poor self-esteem), then whenever you feel the need to lash out…simply divert your mind to doing better things, especially things that you enjoy, like painting, singing, listening to music or pretty much anything that can immediately change your emotional state of mind. That’s definitely a passive way to stop being a bitch.
Learn to Say Thanks and Please
Here’s the thing – the politer and milder mannered you are, the more people will like you. And here’s another thing – you don’t have to always mean what you say. Sometimes, we have to simply put up appearances in order to keep other people happy, and if you feel you can’t sincerely be nicer, simply pretend to be. Just…make it sincere enough and not sarcastic because that would make things worse for you.
Ask for Things Nicely
See, I’ve already told you. No matter how smart, pretty or rich you are, the world doesn’t owe you shit. If you want something, you have to give something in return. Often, the only things we can give in return are sweet words, so the next time you want someone to do something for you, remember – don’t make demands. Make requests. Instead of saying
“Hey Kerry. Call Sarah. I gotta talk to her.”
“Heyyyyy Kerry. Will you please call Sarah for me? I want her for this group assignment, and it’d be great if you could help me out with her. Thanks!”
Be Proud, But Not a Braggart
There’s a difference between the two, and if you aren’t smart enough to understand that, doesn’t mean there’s no difference between them. Alright, princess? Remember - you gotta work hard on how to stop being a bitch.
Here’s the thing. You don’t have to pretend to be humble about your achievements, but you don’t have to be a bitch and boast about them either, especially in front of people you know will never be able to achieve them. In fact, you should go one step ahead and>
Appreciate Others for Their Hard Work
So let’s say there was a group assignment and you were the group leader. Everybody worked hard, but you got the accolades. That’s unfair, right? So make it fair – name your colleagues, and publicly, compliment them on their hard work, spelling out exactly what contribution of theirs made your project a success. This might be a small thing for you, but believe me – they will remember this gesture of yours for weeks to come.
You Don't Have to Win Every Argument
Many things are more important than your ego. And the thing is – improving your reputation. You want people to think you’re no longer a bitch? Well, give them a reason to believe so. Nice girls seldom get into arguments, especially ones that are public and where a screaming match is going on. Avoid arguments, be the bigger person, and move on. Learn to let others have the last word because that’s the way on how to stop being a bitch.
Stop Making Yourself the Focus of Every Conversation
Because guess what? Not everybody loves you as much as you love yourself. Shocker, huh? But it’s the truth. Here’s another shocker – people like to hear about themselves in a positive light from others.
Wow. Who would have thought?
So the next time you’re sitting in a group, try not to hijack the conversation and make it about you. And when the focus does shift to you, immediately plant it on someone else. Not only will they enjoy it, but they’ll internally thank you for it.
That could be at your school, college or office. Could be in your neighborhood activities or in an NGO associated with something you’re passionate about, like the environment or animals. Not only will volunteering help you interact with other people, but will show you how much more the average person struggles in their life, as compared to yours. It’ll truly show you how much you’ve been taking your life for granted, and it’ll provide you with a unique perspective.
Be Open to Criticism
Look, princess. No matter what you think of yourself, the truth is, people have an entirely different opinion of yours. And it’s mostly negative, which is why you’re reading this article on how to stop being a bitch. So let your ego be hit, shut your mouth and listen quietly when someone is criticizing you. Don’t take it personally. Use it to improve yourself as a person. And at the end of the conversation, thank the person for taking the effort to point out your flaws to you.