Every man and woman in some point of their lives look forward to get into the institution of getting married and seek to have a life or marriage partner. The beginning is mostly appropriate while the relationship experiences a roller coaster ride soon after depending upon how soon the chemistry runs out. If we are to avoid such bitter experiences and to sustain a marriage, it simply requires that the partners understand what goes on and how to cope with the impending challenge that arises mostly in a marriage relationship.

Part 1


Basics of the working marriage relationship

Every non-compulsive affair between man and woman will mature into a growing and learning relationship. Every compulsive affair is an initial love affair which is chemically supported by nature. Before the chemistry runs out, to sustain, we are supposed to establish a conscious love affair which is beyond the body chemistry. This can only become foundation of a sustainable relationship in marriage.


How to differentiate non-compulsive from compulsive behavior

Every behavior expressed through action can either be compulsive or non-compulsive. One is required to differentiate between the two but before that one needs to understand what enables compulsive or non-compulsive behaviors. Our state of awareness, our world views, our exposure and inclinations to prioritize our decisions, actions or choices are responsible directly for this. One who decides or chooses based on his concept of right and wrong, good or bad shall conduct his life and serve his relationships through what is best termed as compulsive behaviors. And one who decides or chooses options based on what is appropriate and inappropriate, essential or non-essential is driven by non-compulsive behaviors.


Take Away Points

  1. We must first attempt to understand how relationship can last.

  2. We must understand what is compulsive and non-compulsive behavior.

  3. If there be need we must be prepared to change to the philosophy of conducting life and relationships in a manner that we can enact through non-compulsive behavior and make this a habit.

  4. We must know that in a marriage relationship, to sustain, it is more important to contribute and nurture than expect.

  5. When both partners in the relationship enjoys giving through non-compulsive behavioral pattern, with raised state of self awareness, their marriage will be equally enjoyable & sustainable.


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