Learning how to talk to women is really more of an art than science. Having said that, there definitely are things you can do (or avoid) when in the presence of the woman you desire, in order to make her see you in more of a positive light. Some of these pointers are fairly simple, while others might require you to discard what society has taught you and instead, use your brains for a change.

8 Tips to Help You Talk to Women


Appearances matter

You of course cannot do anything about the face you were born with. However, if you’re an average looking Joe, you can compensate for the lack of looks by sprucing up your appearance and giving more attention to your hygiene. Here are some tips:

  • Wear decent clothes when you meet her. And no, jeans and a beanie don’t count as ‘decent’ outfits.

  • Brush your teeth, comb your hair, shave, take a bath and apply a hint of perfume.

  • Always keep chewing gum in your pockets, in case you meet her by accident. Don’t want her to smell the coffee or garlic in your breath, do you?

Again, you can’t do much about your face or your body. And frankly, if she’s gonna let that come in the way of getting to know you, you’re better off without her.


Let her talk

Look. There’s a difference between having a conversation with a woman, and boring her to death by extolling what a great guy you are. Plus, if all you’re doing is talking about yourself, you ain’t that great. Drop the arrogance. It’s unattractive. Let her talk about her life, her likes, her dislikes and everything else.



This is the #1 thing men get wrong. They think women talk for the sake of talking, which is why they (men) usually don’t pay attention to what they say. Here’s the deal – if you like her, you have to accept her for who she is, including the fact that she talks a lot. Plus, you have to keep in mind that women are expressive creatures – they love to express how they feel. If you’re incapable of doing that, that doesn’t mean anybody who is capable of doing so is irrelevant. They aren’t. Listen to every small detail she shares with you, and remember it. Remember – sometimes, how to talk to women involves not talking at all!


Find areas of mutual interest

This one’s very important. Sharing a mutual passion for something ignites the spark between people quicker than any other topic of conversation. The only thing that can trump this is your possible hatred for the same thing. But that’s a dangerous place to venture as you’re more likely to disagree than agree about what (and why) you dislike something.


Do not compliment her body

There are very, very, very few girls who would take words like “Hey, sexy thang” or “Nice ass, honey” as genuine compliments. A majority of us would be offended because:

  • Women aren’t pieces of meat. We’re human beings, like the rest of you and if you’re incapable of seeing us beyond our bodies, you aren’t worth our time.

  • Second, and most importantly, that’s sexual harassment. Because such cheap words disguised as “compliments” are 100% unwarranted.

Having said that, of course it’s okay to politely say, “Hey! You’ve lost a lot of weight. You’re looking good.” because you’re acknowledging the effort she put into leading a healthier lifestyle by eating better food and working out at the gym.


Be specific in your compliments

Everybody can say “Cute dress!” or “Nice hairstyle!”, especially if it’s a new dress or a new hairstyle. She’ll receive the same compliments from several other people. And your compliment will drown in a sea of compliments. This is where knowing how to talk to women comes in handy. Give her a compliment, but be specific about it. For example:

“Cute dress! That green ribbon really brings out the color of your eyes.”

“Nice hairstyle! Really highlights your best features!”

By being specific, you are no longer a nameless, faceless person who showered her with a compliment, but a unique person who stood out for her simply by virtue of his words.


Don’t make assumptions about her based on her appearances

I mean, sure, her dressing sense does reflect the kind of person she is. But if you met her at a club and you assume she’s a promiscuous woman simply because she’s out to have fun with her girlfriends, you’re not even giving her a chance to let her tell you about the real her. Please understand that nobody’s perfect, including you. How would you feel if people made negative assumptions about you based on your face, your body or your fashion sense?


Acknowledge her lack of interest/consent

An extremely important topic when it comes to how to talk to women.

Men are told that a woman’s ‘no’ means ‘yes’. Uh, no. A ‘no’ means a ‘no’. If she’s not interested in talking to you, meeting you again or giving her phone number, accept her decision. Just because you like her doesn’t mean she’s obliged to like you back. Back off, gain her respect, and then see how well she treats you as a friend. And who knows? Love could easily blossom from that friendship of yours.


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