Maybe it’s your office friend. Maybe it’s your friend’s boyfriend or maybe it’s your boyfriend. Doesn’t matter who he is, the fact of the matter is that you’ve got certain vibes off him that have made you doubt his sexuality? Could he be a closeted gay? Or worse, a gay dude who doesn’t know he’s gay? All these thoughts have left you wonder - how to tell if a guy is gay?
Are there any tell tale signs? Well, yes, there are a few. But you need to understand that they aren’t set in stone. Exceptions always prevail, and there are many gay guys who just don’t fit into the feminine-gay-dude stereotype.
So, what all can you keep your eyes out for?
10 Ways to Tell If Someone Is Gay
One of the best ways for how to tell if a guy is gay is to notice the kinda people he surrounds himself with. Gays have many female and LGBTQ+ friends, but very few straight men. Mostly because the average male man is uncomfortable in the presence of gay men, but that is besides the point.
His boys’ night out
The average Joe goes drinking, bowling or even watching sports on TVs in bars. I mean sure, different guys have different tastes, but you get what the average hetero guy likes, right? However, if your dude prefers going out for karaoke nights, love shopping at malls and other similar activities that are usually indulged in by gay men (or women in general), then you have you answer.
He rarely eyes other women
I mean sure, he could be a gentleman. But not even looking at girls who pass by him? Don’t you think that’s odd? I mean, a normal person would at least glance, right? It’s almost as if…he’s avoiding looking at them. Or that he is uninterested in them to the point that it becomes blatantly obvious to you.
Checking out men
How to tell if a guy is gay? Simple: Follow his eyes.
How often does he look at men, as compared to women? The average man would barely glance at another man, right? But if your guy has been eyeing dudes more often than gals, then that’s a red flag right there. He’ll be subtle with his glances, of course, which is why you have to be smart (and quick) when observing him.
He’s comfortable being physical with men
Now, again. Most men cringe at other men touching them – hetero of otherwise. They’re not the most expressive when it comes to physical actions. So if your guy seems very quick to hug dudes, shake their hands, keep his hand on their shoulders for a tad too long…Then beware.
However, keep in mind that culture plays a huge role here. So while Western men prefer showing their affection with mock punches or high fives, men from the East (especially from Muslim countries) have zero issues hugging and even kissing other men on their cheek.
It’s exactly like physical proximity, except this time, it’s about maintaining long eye contacts during conversations. And much like physical proximity, guys from the East are much more at ease when maintaining longer eye contacts, while guys from the West become immediately uncomfortable if their eye contact lingers even for half a second longer than it should.
Other people's sexualities
How to tell if a guy is gay? Well, have you ever felt that he’s wayyyyy too much into other people’s sexualities? Like, how he’s constantly guessing who’s gay and who’s not, who is in a real marriage and who is in it just to fool people? How certain people pretend to be straight but are actually gay? I mean, it’s great to speculate every once in a while, but if you feel he’s been doing it a little too much, you have yourself a red flag
His friends on social media
It would be very odd for a straight guy to have extremely good looking guys splattered all over his profile. It’s worse if they’re half naked in their pictures 24x7. They may or may not be gay, but there’s no way a hetero dude is this comfortable with semi naked guys plastered over his profile – in his comment section, in his photo likes and in his tags.
Sex isn’t often on his mind
Now don’t get me wrong. It could easily mean that he isn’t a sexual person (or an asexual) or that he wants you to be more comfortable in demanding sex from him. It could also mean that he is waiting till you’re the one who wants to have sex first. Sure. Especially if he’s an older guy.
BUT, keep in mind it could also mean he’s gay and he’s totally not interested in having sex with you. All his talks about “waiting till marriage” are nothing but a sham in order to keep you on the hook so that he can have you as his fake girlfriend whom he can parade in front of family and friends.
He could be a bisexual
How to tell if a guy is gay? Well sometimes, you can’t. And that is because he isn’t gay, but he’s bisexual. That means he’s attracted to both men and women. A lot of bis prefer men and women equally, while others prefer one sex to the other. Whatever the case may be, his preference can only be discussed when he’s willing to discuss his sexuality. Being a bi doesn’t invalidate his feelings for you – just because he likes guys doesn’t mean he’s incapable of loving you!