Nothing can be as devastating in a relationship as discovering your boyfriend is gay. If you suspect that your boyfriend is gay, it can be hard to decide whether to ask him or just ignore the signs. In any relationship, remaining truthful to each other is important. Therefore, if you’re convinced that he might be gay, then the best course of action is to ask him. Before you confront him, there are telltale signs that you can look for to ascertain that indeed there is a chance he is gay.

Is My Boyfriend Gay? Signs to Look Out for


He has no Interest in checking out other women

For most women, having your man uninterested in checking out other women can be a great relief. However, what you do not know is that it is natural for straight men to checkout other women. Men have high levels of testosterone and this is the male hormone responsible for sexuality in men, which makes men unconsciously look at attractive women. This is a natural reflex in men. If an attractive woman walks past your boyfriend and he doesn’t even steal a glance, then this might be a red flag. While there are asexual men, it is very rare for a man to be completely disinterested in other women.


He checks out other men

This is a hard sign to notice, since your boyfriend is definitely still in the closet. However, if your man is gay, you will notice him checking out other men when in public. When you go out with him, be observant of his behavior when an attractive man walks by. Also, focus on where his attention is. You will find him looking at his abs, ass or his crotch. You also need to pay attention to whether he makes eye contact, just the same way you would look straight into an attractive guy’s eyes. In some cases, you might notice that he is gets flirty with other men. These are all red flags.


His fantasies always involve another guy

It is healthy for a couple to have sexual fantasies. However, if you fantasize of a threesome together and your man is always insisting on the third person to be a guy, there might be a chance he is gay.


He loves being the center of attention

If you are dating a guy who loves it when he is the center of attention, especially in places with a lot of male figures, there is a chance he is gay. It is unusual for men to want to get noticed in public places. If you are competing for male attention with your man, he is probably gay.


He takes longer than you to get ready

Is my boyfriend gay if he always pays more attention to looks than me? While most people would say it's old-fashioned, it is unnatural for straight men to take a very long time to dress up. If your boyfriend competes with you for mirror time, it might be an indication that he is gay. While having a lot of toiletries might be an indication of a person who takes care of himself, too much of it should be a red flag.


Disinterest in having sex with you

While there are many reasons why men become uninterested in sex, most of them are medical, but the fact that he doesn’t show interest in sexual activity with you can also be a red flag. This is especially so if you have been seeing other signs that indicate he might be gay. Men love having sex and if your boyfriend doesn't want to do it with you, then he is either doing it with other woman or only interested in doing it with another man.


He fancies anal sex

Most men do not like having things in the rear sides. If your man gets excited about anal sex, there is a chance he is gay. He will give you crazy requests that involve his anus while you’re being intimate. If he enjoys getting penetrated more than he enjoys penetrating, he might be gay.


He is too touchy with men

Men are interesting beings. Most men find it completely unacceptable to be touchy with fellow men. Some friends cannot even hug each other. The most they can do is a handshake. Therefore, if you notice that your man is overly touchy with other men, there is a chance he is attracted to them.


He has a lot of secretly gay friends

Is my boyfriend gay? If your boyfriend hangs around men who are secretly gay, there is a chance that he too is gay. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Even though some straight men have gay friends, it is highly unusual for straight men to be too comfortable amongst gay men.


He loves it when he gets attention from other men

Like women, a gay man will love it when he gets attention from fellow men. You will notice that he tries to be impressive when in the presence of other men. This can be an indication that he prefers guys to women.


He is a gay activist

While there is nothing wrong with standing up against sexual orientation discrimination, most straight men will not go out of their way to defend gays. If you notice that your boyfriend often defends gay people and their rights, it is possible he is also one of them. This is a way for him to justify his sexual preference.


He hates gays

While this may seem untrue and contradictory, most gay men who haven’t come out yet will usually show hate for fellow gay men. This is because he hasn’t fully accepted the fact that he is gay and hates himself for being that way. By showing their "hate" for the gay community, they are trying to suppress their true nature and appear straight.


His gifting tendencies reveal it all

While most men will buy expensive gifts for their girlfriends, it is very uncommon for a guy to buy a fellow guy an expensive gift. Guys hardly even give each other gifts. The most they can do is to buy each other beers and watch a game together as sign of affection. If your man goes out of his way to gift a fellow man with an expensive gift, he might be gay.

These are just some of the most common signs that your boyfriend is gay. The next time you ask yourself the question, “Is my boyfriend gay?” these signs will make it easier for you to figure it out.


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