We all have those friends whom we grew up with, shared happy memories and offered a shoulder to lean on. But as time passes by, things change and we begin to become busy with our own lives. We will always remember their names and the good they have brought into our lives, but we cannot deny the fact that we have grown apart throughout the years. This article will explain why we lose touch with our friends and how to deal with it.

Losing Touch with Friends: Why Does This Happen?


You are too busy to be with them

There is nothing wrong about putting your responsibilities on your priority list, but if you don’t take time to say a simple “hello” or attend birthdays of your friends, then they might think that you can live your life without them or you don’t want to be with them. Besides, you will lose touch with your friends if you are only around when you need something but disappear suddenly once you’ve got what you need.


You are offensive

You might be unintentionally pushing your friends away if you keep giving off negative vibes or saying things "not so good" to the ear. For example, you emailed your friend telling her how frustrated you were when she did not let you borrow her favorite dress. This is offensive and irrational because the dress is hers and she may just need it as much as you do. Friends should be considerate to each other.


You don’t admit your mistakes

Wronging others and refusing to offer apologies are the quickest ways to end a friendship. So, if you know you've offended a friend, admit it, learn how to apologize and then apologize sincerely and right on time. Saying “I’m sorry” is a good way of preventing losing touch with friends.


You’re needy

Being clingy and too possessive of your friends is a sure way to lose them. If you’ve been demanding more of their time than you should, your friends may start avoiding you. Try to balance everything in your life and don’t be afraid to make new friends.


You were not there when needed

It's unfair on your friend’s part if she was there all the way when you had a bad breakup with your boyfriend, but you were nowhere to be found when she had her own share of heartbreak. Make time to ask how your friend is doing. A simple coffee or lunch will surely juice up your friendship again.


People do change

There is nothing permanent in this world except change. This is another reason of losing touch with friends. As you grow older, you begin to know what you really want in life and start to cut off what’s unnecessary. For example, you and your friend loved to drink and party, but as you reach thirty, bar hopping no longer excites you. You begin to feel more comfortable being at home and reading a book, and you begin to look for friends who have the same interests.


People move places

All of us have our own dreams and aspirations, and we strive hard in order to reach these goals. Your friends, including yourself, may need to move to another city or even country to pursue whatever they want to achieve. Sometimes you need to accept that distance can end a friendship.


You fall in love

One common reason of losing touch with friends is being involved in a romantic relationship. Once in love, your life center around your partner, so you do not have energy and time for your friends. Vice versa is also true. This is nobody's fault, but gradually you will lose touch with each other. 

Tips on How to Reconnect with Friends

Among the 8 reasons mentioned above, there are some suggestions on how to keep your friends and make your friendship last. Here are more tips to help you keep those good friends around forever.

Set a schedule ahead of time to meet and make up for the lost times. Or if both of you are busy, sending a text or making a short phone call will do the trick.


With developed technology and cell phone, you can reach anyone anytime:

  • Use Skype to bond with your friends. This application will let you see each other face to face. 

  • Facetime is an application from Apple where you can see and chat with your friends even if you are miles apart.

  • Whatsapp is a phone application where you can call and send text internationally so that you can connect with your friends even if they are abroad.


You may also bond with your friends by playing the same online games. You can battle against each other or team up to fight invaders together. 


If both of you love reading books, you may send a book that you have already read to your friend so that you have something to talk about later. This is a great tip to prevent losing touch with friends.


The most traditional way of keeping in touch is by sending a handwritten letter through snail mail. Everybody loves receiving letters!


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