Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You: Tips to Bear in Mind

Being friendzoned

It doesn’t matter how nice you are to someone. If they have no feelings for you, then there’s little you can do about it. In their eyes, you’ll always be their “friend”. You might go all out and shower them with gifts and attention, but you’re flogging a dead horse. Eventually you will discover that they’ve always had eyes for someone else.

Denying the fact

Denial comes first. You feel that the love you’ve given deserves to be reciprocated. In your delusions, you convince yourself that if you pursue the person for long enough, they will eventually realize how mistaken they were. They’ll fall madly in love with you and you’ll both walk into the sunset and live happily ever after. But the fact is whatever you do doesn’t seem to work. If you ask them out, they’re always busy. When you send them funny messages, they’re ignored.

Feeling heartbroken

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back feels like having your heart trampled over. It hurts like hell. Your world seems to fall apart in an instant, and then loneliness and despair set in. You’re likely to get into the pity party mood right away. You start listening to songs about heartbreak. Sit at home the whole weekend stuffing your face with junk food. And of course the tears…

Accepting the fact no matter what

Once you’re done crying your heart out, you need to face up to the truth. You can’t force your crush to fall in love with you. Get a grip on yourself and accept the fact that the two of you will never be together. You can try as hard as you like to convince them, but they love who they love and you can’t do jack about it. You might even try to separate them from the person they love, but it will all be futile. All you can do is to allow them to be with the person they truly love.

Meeting someone new

Nothing lasts forever. All the pain and hurt will be gone eventually. It might take time, but it will go. No doubt the memories of the person who rejected you will tug at your heart strings every time you meet them or think about them. But the most important thing is that eventually you will meet the person meant for you and live happily together without any regret.

Grieving is okay

It is okay to grieve over someone you love, but don’t hold onto your sorrow forever. Make a conscious effort to move on from the hurt. This doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions by acting all macho. Saying things like “She didn’t mean much to me anyway” or “It is not a big deal” won’t help. Denying your feelings can lead to worse problems down the road.

Take a break from your daily schedule to process the sadness. This will help you heal much faster. Many people in this situation wallow in their despair. They stop taking showers and become sloppy with every aspect of their lives. Do not do this to yourself.

Don’t blame them

It's meaningless to play the blaming games here. Don’t blame the person who has rejected you for your misery. Love cannot be forced, and if they don’t have feelings for you, there is very little they can do about it. Becoming bitter about the situation will only set you back.

Ditch the mementos

Rid yourself of anything that reminds you of the person. This is the fastest way to get over loving someone who doesn’t love you back. If you hold on to the things you shared together, then you are on the wrong path, because you will only keep hurting yourself and making it harder to move on.

Change routine

Another way of getting over a habit is to try new things. Change your routine by going out to new hangouts, trying out a new hobby or going on vacation. Little things such as rearranging your furniture and taking another route to work can also help. Don’t do anything drastic unless you’re sure about it.

Cut off contact

While you might still be in good terms with the person, you need to cut all communication to help you heal completely. Do not call, send text messages, emails or even chat. Do not reach out to them for any reason.

Keep yourself busy

It’s easy to get caught up in the memories of the one you lost. To avoid this, you need to keep your mind occupied. You are bound to catch yourself reflecting on what might have been or moping about your situation. It’s okay. However, make a conscious effort to keep yourself busy.

Do not keep replaying memories

You hold yourself back when you keep thinking of the good times. You need to stop replaying the good old memories over and over in your head. Accept the fact that you two will never be together, and move on.  This is the best way to get over loving someone who doesn’t love you back. 

"One and only” is a fairytale

You will soon realize that what you thought was the perfect one for you is not the only fish in the sea. So move on from the one that got away and start building new relationships. Learn from what you’ve gone through and don’t get caught up in the moment. If you start longing for the person who rejected you and telling yourself that they’re the only one that can make you happy, you are on the path to destruction.