Breakups are tough, and moving out after that breakup can be even tougher. There are so many things that you have to take care of, and you don’t even know where to begin. You feel overwhelmed, frustrated, scared and confused, all at once. The easiest way to move on is to, of course, find a new place where you can start afresh. But how do you even begin to do that?
Tips on Moving Out After a Breakup
Decide who stays
If you’re the one who’s been living in his apartment (or vice versa), then there’s no question about who has to move out. However, if you co-signed a lease on a new place, then it becomes more complicated.
The last thing you want is financial troubles, so whoever leaves should be legally obliged to either give a notice period to the other party or if they’re not doing so, then pay rent for that time period. It’s wisest that you’re the one who moves out because that apartment would anyway be too expensive for you to manage on your own. And that’s not even factoring in that you’d be constantly reminded of your ex in the same surrounding if you decided to stay on.
Don’t let your ego get the best of you
Don’t get hold of something that your ex wants just to spite him. Such petty behavior does not do you any good. Conversely, if you feel your ex is doing the same to you, then know what? Let him. Let him be the petty little child he is. Your peace of mind is far more important than your attachment to some object you two bought together, so person. Let him have it. You might not feel good now but trust me, you’ll be happy you were the bigger.
Don’t get emotional
I know it’s easier said than done, but being emotional when you’re moving out after a breakup doesn’t help you. You’ll only end up making irrational decisions and say stuff that you will regret saying when you’ve cooled down. This is even truer if your partner is the more emotional one, because now you will have to me strong willed for the both of you. If you feel you or your partner is becoming too emotional during a conversation, simply put a pin on it and discuss it at later time. If that doesn’t work, then…
Involve a mediator
Bring in someone both of you trust to make unbiased and informed decisions, and let them take over discussion that are leading nowhere. If you do not have such a mutual friend, then it’s best that each of you invites your best friend, who can handle things between themselves without getting emotionally involved.
Deal with common properties
Make a list of all the things that you have brought together. You can be mature about the situation and decide who will keep what. If that is not the case then:
You can randomly divide the objects among yourselves so long as they all amount to the same value.
Pay for items that you are more keen on keeping
Sell items that you cannot decide on how to divide them, and split the sales money equally between the two of you.
Pets come next
If you have something indivisible like pets, and if you really love your pets, you have to do what’s best for them, and not for you. Whoever can give them more time, love, better lodgings, can pay for the pet’s medical bills, can take them on regular walks, etc. should be the one who should be parenting the pet.
Ask a friend to help you move out
Why not? Not only will your chores be halved, but you will also have the emotional support of someone you trust. Plus, their perspective on everything that you do, or don’t do, is something that will help you a lot when you’re moving out after a breakup. Make sure the moving out is done with your ex isn’t at home, though. Avoid awkward encounters.
Use professional help
If you think this is way too much work for you or you just aren’t emotionally or physically ready to make such a big change, then use a packing service. These people know what they’re doing and all you have to do is pay them for their work. Just go online and search for professional services near your place, check their reviews online, compare prices and hire the ones you feel are the best fit for you.
More tips for you
There is a multitude of other things you should keep in mind when you’re moving out after a breakup:
Make sure the new town/state where you’re moving is a place where you have a paying job. Or at least a healthy support system;
Decide on whether you wanna live alone or live with a roommate;
Location is key. If you already have a job, then it’s ideal you find an apartment near your office;
Your apartment needs to be accessible and have good public transportation;
If you have a car, then make sure you’re provided with a parking space;
If you’re keeping the pet, make sure your apartment building is pet friendly.
Make sure grocery stores, drugstores, gym or other important places are nearby.