A newly wedded couple is encountering problems in its sexual life. The husband is never having the desire for sex and when he does, he is only open to oral sex so that he can get in the mood. The wife does not get pleasure in giving oral sex to him anymore as she isn’t getting aroused with foreplay that she needs from him. The husband is mostly too exhausted to have sex and when he does have sex, he does not last long. He seeks only his pleasure and satisfaction which is why the wife hasn’t had an orgasm since her marriage. Since she has been disappointed too many times by her husband in bed, she does not find sex pleasing anymore and can’t get excited even. She has tried to talk to his husband but he pays no heed to her feelings, which has left her clueless as to what she should do now and is need of help.
My Husband Doesn't Satisfy Me Sexually: What Do People Say?
Opinion of Alisa Bowman
In my opinion the concern that my husband doesn’t satisfy me sexually is a universal one and means that the spouse in question sucks in bed. Since most people suck at this, it is not something to be embarrassed about either. The knowledge of how to please a man or a woman sexually is not something that is taught in school or is given as advice by grownups. This is why we all need lessons about how to please our partners. Curiosity, experimentation and study are the only way a couple can become good lovers.
If I had concerns that my husband doesn’t satisfy me sexually then this is what I would do.
I would ask my husband if it is a good time to share something with him.
I would tell him that I am nervous and scared to share the news with him as I don’t want to hurt his feelings and make him mad. I will ask him to promise me that he will hear me out, not react automatically to the news, think about it and then tell me what he thinks about the news.
If he promises then I will tell him that I have lied about being satisfied in bed. I will then break the news that I have faked orgasms in the past as I hadn’t had one in real. I will convince him that I don’t feel good about this then tell him about the things I have been searching that can help us resolve this issue.
Let him think it over a little and then explain that you want to try out new positions and techniques in bed, hoping that something might click. Ask him to learn about sexual techniques with you so that you can both find a solution to the problem.
Opinion of RedTeaSet
The husband’s ignorance of your pleasure is not a good thing and if left unresolved, it can lead to serious emotional trauma and resentment in the future.
If discussing the issue hasn’t resulted in a solution, then taking action is the next best option. In my experience, foreplay plays a major role in sex for women, while penetration remains the sole purpose for sex for men in my opinion. So, it’s best to let the husband wait until you think you have fully aroused.
Women orgasms are fueled by clitoral stimulation rather than penetrative sex. Having a penis inside the vagina just makes it better. However, that still requires adequate foreplay. It is important to keep in mind that it is the mind where the sex begins. If you haven’t been emotionally aroused, you won’t get wet.
If the wife thinks that she needs stroking, cuddling and kissing to get aroused then she should take the lead and do it to the husband first and then ask him to return the favor, but keep his penis well away from your vagina. Tell him your hotspots and make sure that he does not touch the obvious parts until you have been satisfactorily aroused. By this way, even if he does not last long after entering you, you will still reach your orgasm as you are adequately turned on by that time.
The Sensate Focus exercises are excellent too as they can help him in understanding that sex is mutual and includes foreplay too.
Making encouraging noises and comments when he does something that stimulates you can also help him in realizing what you want.
Make him realize that when he goes in dry, you feel sore as you haven’t been adequately turned on. Tell him that your vagina isn’t ready and ask him to spend time on you before entering you.
Opinion of aa889d
Although it might sound a bit extreme but
The wife should not have any children with her husband until they resolve this issue.
She must discuss this issue with the husband and tell him in clear terms that it can jeopardize their marriage.
The couple must work together to find a solution or a compromise through counseling or any other means.
If the husband does not want to cooperate with you then you must make a decision. If this issue is a deal breaker for you then make sure that he knows it.
The wife must make a choice whether she want to live a one-sided sex life, ready to leave the husband or live celibate. Decide quickly because having a bad sex life is not something one can live with forever. If the husband is unwilling to resolve the issue then find someone who can satisfy yours sexual needs.
This is the reason why premarital sex is important. It gives you the chance to see whether you are compatible with your partner in all aspects of the relationship or not particularly those that are reserved only for the spouse.