Almost everyone had a fair share of hurts brought about by a breakup. One of the reasons why a person experiences pain is due to the kind of relationship they are in, like a one sided relationship. Some people think that to love is to give everything to the other person, without realizing that they have given everything they could but received nothing in return. This kind of relationship will only lead to so much pain and regrets. But how do you know if you are just expecting too much from your partner? Or you are unconsciously in a biased relationship?
Signs You’re in a One-Sided Relationship
You’re “always” the first one to communicate
You are always the first one to call and send text messages, and if you don’t initiate, chances are days will pass without hearing a word from your partner. No doubt you are in a one sided relationship if this is what you’re going through, so better get out now. You don’t want to end up hurt and broken--alone.
You never receive a favor
You always give and do what your partner asks you to even if it means sacrificing your time and exhausting all your energy. You don’t mind doing these things because you love your partner. But when it’s time to return the favor, he or she is just too busy or nowhere to be found.
Your partner prefers to be with friends instead of you
It is healthy to spend time with friends even if you are in a relationship, but if you are constantly being left out and uninvited, then there must be something wrong. Or if your partner constantly rejects your invitations to spend time with you and your friends, then you are in a one sided relationship.
Your partner always makes you feel guilty
Guilt-tripping is when the other person makes you feel that you need to apologize for things that you have done. For example, you had an argument because you said how you truly felt when he didn’t return your calls. Instead of comforting you, he just argued that you were just nagging and wanting to start a fight instead of addressing your issues.
You always justify his or her actions to others
You always have to reassure your family, friends and even yourself that he loves you even if he treats you badly and takes you for granted. You convince yourself that someday things will get better and your tears will eventually lead to your relationship’s success. Always remember that reassurance should come from him, not from you, wake up!
You have to fix issues in your relationship alone
You are definitely in a one sided relationship when you try to sit down with your partner to talk about some problems in your relationship, but he or she simply changes the topic because your partner doesn’t really care about your feelings or just gets angry with these "trivial" things. So you are left alone trying to fix these issues by yourself.
You are always stressed
You always feel unappreciated and feel that your partner doesn’t want to be with you. What's worse, you are always worried because you feel that your relationship is falling apart and it is all your fault. If you always feel insecure (your partner should have given you emotional security in the first place), then it’s time for you to go.
Your partner doesn’t love you
If your partner truly loves you, he or she will care about you, will be interested in your day to day life and will always check on you if you are not together. You are in a one sided relationship if it doesn’t bother your partner even if you don’t talk or see each other for too long.
Your relationship is stuck
You might be comfortable at first with your day to day activities, but soon you feel bored with the current stage of your relationship, and as much as you want to move to the next chapter, like moving in together, you just can’t because your partner is not even interested in talking about it.
Other signs of one sided relationship
You partner never introduces you to family and friends.
You’re the only one telling him or her how your day goes but your partner never bothers to tell you anything.
Your partner rarely tells you the three magic words “I love you”.
Your partner has bad habits like smoking without thinking its implications to you and to your relationship.
You are in a biased relationship if you don’t inspire each other anymore.
You always argue but never come to a solution to your problems.
You make plans to go out of town but nothing really happens. Plans always remain as plans.
You don’t have the same goals for your relationship.
Instead of bringing out the best in you, your partner is bringing out the worst in each other.
You can’t trust him or her anymore.
How to Fix a One Sided Relationship
Understand how you truly feel
You might be afraid to talk to your partner because you know how he will respond. Understand how you truly feel, and in this way, you can better express your feelings, which can serve as your guide on how to fix or even end the relationship.
Have a heart to heart talk with your partner
Tell your partner how you feel in this one sided relationship. If he or she truly cares for you, he or she will listen but if not, there is a great possibility that your partner is a narcissist and that there are things that you just cannot change--alone.
Solve one problem at a time
When you finally find the courage to talk to your partner, focus on settling one issue at a time. If he tries to be defensive by bringing up past issues and makes you feel guilty, be patient and stay focused.