What would you do without friendships? Friendship helps you grow mentally and emotionally, and provides support for those moments when you’re down. The beauty of friendship is rooted in the care and concern for a friend that can be understood as some kind of love. Sometimes, the lines between friendship and romantic love can get blurred. As you hang out and do things together with your friend, it’s easy to find yourself falling in for your best friend. So girls, should you confess your love to that man who's been your best friend for so long?
Should I Tell My Best Friend I Love Him?
In fact, this is the wrong question to ask. Of course you should tell him because true love is hard to find and if you find it, you shouldn't miss it. The question you should be asking is -- when to tell him and how to tell him.
Love between two people who cherish each other should be treasured. Falling in love is one of the most beautiful experiences you can ever have -- this includes your best friend. However, confessing your love for him can be a tricky affair since there is a chance that your friendship might come to an end if he doesn’t feel the same way. Nonetheless, it is a worthwhile risk. Here’s what you should consider before opening up to your best friend.
Things to Consider Beforehand
Will the friendship survive?
The friendship shouldn’t crumble if it is built on a solid foundation. You should therefore let your friend know how you feel about him. You might be surprised to find that the feeling is mutual. Even if it’s not, he should be able to empathize with you. If you feel like you can’t handle the rejection, it’s probably best to keep your mouth shut. But what’s the worst that could happen? You two are best friends and can even trust each other with life.
Is the attraction real?
Your feelings could be a figment of your own imagination. He is your friend and he will definitely say or do something for you. This is normal, but with some extra imagination, it might feel like there’s something special between the two of you, especially when others also tell you so.
Is it plain jealousy?
People do a lot of things based on jealousy. We want things we can’t have. Your feelings for your best friend could be based on the jealousy you feel for his new partner. You might be feeling like they’re spending too much time together at your expense. It is important to evaluate your feelings to avoid messing up a friendship as a result of a baseless whim.
What’s the agenda?
Are you wondering, "Should I tell my best friend I love him?" Maybe, but you should also think about what you hope to achieve by doing this? Do you think he’ll leave his current girlfriend or you? Do you want to be the one responsible for breaking someone else’s heart? But if you get the impression that he feels the same way about you, you can give it a shot. He might probably realize his current girlfriend doesn’t stack up.
Does he treat his relationship seriously?
If he’s in a relationship, you should really think about whether you want to mess it up or not. This is especially so if they have been together for long. The more serious the relationship is, the lesser your chance is after you reveal how you feel about him. He’ll feel pressured to choose between you and his girlfriend, which means hurting the other one, and this could mark the end of your friendship.
Will he be as good a love as he is a friend?
The fact that you’re good friends won’t make you good lovers. Etiquette between friends is not the same as that of lovers. You might find that something you really don’t care about when you are friends bothers you a great deal if you’re lovers. For example, you might not really care about his penchant for being late now, but after you become a couple, when he starts postponing dates and coming late, it becomes an issue.
How to Tell Your Best Friend You're in Love with Him
As what has been said before, you need to be sure that what you feel about him is real and not just your imagination. Don’t jump the gun until you’re sure.
Give him some reassurance
When you finally pour your heart out to him, make it clear that you will still be friends even if it doesn’t work out. If the feelings are mutual, the reassurance that nothing will change between the two of you will definitely seal the deal.
Learn more about him
Pay attention to him. Laugh at his jokes. Find out what he likes and doesn’t like. Make sure you know more about him than any other person. With time, he will realize that you’re the best one for him.
Hit the nail on the head
Thinking "Should I tell my best friend I love him?" You probably should, but most men don't like it when girls play mind games with them, so you should be straightforward with him about your feelings. Don’t start playing mind games hoping he’ll catch on.
Ever tried flirting with him? Throw in a compliment when you’re having a conversation and see how he reacts. If he flirts back, then you might be right on the money. This is one of the best ways to test whether your friendship can grow into something more.
Whenever you get the chance, compliment your friend. You obviously shouldn’t overdo it since you’ll look like you’re trying too hard to please him. Make it seem natural. Compliment him about his outfit or his smile. This will send out the right signals and with time, he’ll get the hint that you find him attractive.
Avoid becoming possessive
Possessive behavior will more than likely push him away. If he is in a relationship, you should show some respect and accept that he’ll spend more time with his girlfriend than you. And he also has other friends to hang out with. You don’t have to and can't spend every waking moment together. Give him some space to enjoy his own life and make you a considerate person in his mind.
Go on dates
If you want to develop a closer bond with your best friend, go out on dates. The more you do this together, the closer you’ll become to each other. Go on coffee dates, movies, dinners, walks and anything else that tickles your fancy.
Although our answer to the question, "Should I tell my best friend I love him?" is yes, you should be tactful about it. Don’t just blurt it out in front of all his friends and expect him to take it kindly. Moving from friends to lovers is not easy so it’s important to be strategic about how you approach the issue. For example, you can drop hints first before breaking it down to him in a way that won’t embarrass him, like having a face to face talk at a quiet and private place.