Some people are lucky. They not only find their soul mates, they end up spending their lives with them. For the rest of us out there, it’s a perennial struggle of “Is he the one for me? Or is he not?” If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a guy you think is good for you, then you know the struggle is real. But how can you finger out the answer? Are there any signs he's just playing around? Well, this article will tell you major signs he's not your Mr. Right, and by checking them off you can know whether the guy you’re with is good for you or not.

Signs He's Not the One

I’d like to warn you beforehand that 1-2 signs in isolation do not mean there’s something wrong. However if your guy is guilty of 5 points or more, it’s definitely a red flag.

You’ve met his parents, but.....

He ignores you when he brings you home to meet his parents. I mean, sure, he hasn't seen his parents for a long time and he meets you every day, so giving them preference is expected. But to the extent that he completely ignores you and makes them the centre of his attention? Well then why even bother introducing you to them?


You don’t really miss him when he’s away

I mean hanging out with each other is fun and you do enjoy yourselves, but the spark is missing. There is no longing from your side, no waiting for his text messages to arrive and no even the slightest excitement when you think about meeting him next.


He dictates what you should and shouldn’t do

Now I know you love him and he’s a “nice” guy but believe me, no woman “needs” a guy who’s so dominating over her. And that too over trivial issues like what to wear, whom to meet, not to have any guy friends, or back at home by 7. Like, what the fuck? This is one of the most obvious signs he's not the one.


He hasn’t committed to you

You’ve danced around the issue of commitment for a long time, but he always comes up with some BS or the other which pushes the topic to another time. Girl, if he wants to commit, he will. If he doesn’t, then nothing in the world can force him to do so.


Your face doesn’t light up

When you see him after a long time. Sure, you’re happy and you like to be with him, but if that excitement or rush isn’t there when you see him after a long stretch of time, then something’s wrong.


Long periods together = ugh

Meeting up with him once a week is okay with you, but if the topic of spending an entire weekend with him doesn’t make you happy but instead fills you with doubts, then he’s not the one for you.


You watch him when he’s sleeping

Cute, right? Except that you’re not smiling to yourself like an idiot in the middle of the night. Instead, you’re pensive or deep in thought, unsure or unsettled. And that’s because subconsciously your mind is giving you signs he's not the one.


You avoid conflict at all costs

Fights between couples are healthy, contrary to what Hollywood might make you believe. But you actively try and avoid conflicts because you know that:

  • He’s not gonna accept his fault, no matter how hard you try

  • The fights always end up terribly

Look, I understand that avoiding arguments once in a while is good for your sanity. But to completely ignore that you guys have an issue and to shove it under the carpet indicates that you are not in a healthy relationship. Communication is key, people.


You often make excuses on his behalf

“Oh, he’s not here because his boss is a jerk who never gives him a day off.”

“He was rude because he and his mother had a massive argument that day.”

“He didn’t acknowledge your presence because the work load currently has been too much for him to handle.”

Getting the drift?


Your ultimate goals in life clash

For example, you may not want children but he wants to have a large family. Now, you may love him a lot and he might be the most compatible person in the world. But never delude yourself into thinking that you two can work it out. Either you will agree to have children, or he gives up the idea of becoming a father. Superficial differences can be overcome, but certain things in life are non-negotiable. Clear it now instead of nursing a heartbreak 5 years later.


You cringe when you think of him....

As the father of your children. Now, now, if you like him so much, why would the thought of him taking care of your babies make you feel this way? Obviously because somewhere in the back of your mind, you already know he’s not father or husband material. Maybe it’s because he’s immature, financially or emotionally unstable, or simply just a jerk. At best, he’s boyfriend material and this is definitely one of the signs he's not the one for you to spend your whole life with.


The sex is great, but...

No real relationship survives only on great sex. If you people have different dreams, hopes or expectations from a relationship, then at one point of time you’re going to have to break up with him. Better now than later, is what I would suggest.


Whenever you have good news to share....

He is neither the first nor the second person that you call up and share your news with. It’s either your family or your best friend. And this is not something you should be okay with, because if he isn’t the very first person with whom you would want to share your happiness, then he is definitely not the one. This leads to one of other signs he's not the one--he is the last person you seek solace in.


Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment.