Every single romantic relationship has 3 key categories: Sex, communication, and laughter. The rules are simple. A great relationship has all 3 of those categories going at one time. At any time a relationship can be good with any combination of 2 out of the 3 categories. A relationship can survive off of 1 out of 3 of the categories. If 0 out of 3 categories is the case then you're not in a relationship you're just spending time with each other.
Three Commandments of Relationships
Sex is not just the act of physically stimulating your partner. Sex can come in many different ways. For example, holding hands is a way of outwardly showing intimacy it causes goosebumps to rise on your partner and they can touch and feel something real. A dirty text at work, a whispered compliment at a party, or a gentle hand placement on the lower back all show that you are sexually interested in your partner still. Note: Simply stimulating your partner is not enough. Sex without buildup might satisfy but the key is to reminding your partner that you are not only mentally in sync with them but also physically.
Communication is more than just telling a story or talking about random subjects. If you have something that happens at work and you tell your coworker then by the time you get home you won't tell the story and inadvertently build a wall between you and your partner. Verbal communication is important but non-verbal is important as well. For example, if you know your partner likes snickers bars buy one at a gas station and surprise them with it the next day with a cute note left on the counter before leaving for work.
Laughter is more than just going to a comedy show and getting a good haha in. Laughter also means being able to joke with your partner and make light of situations. If you're not a natural optimist that's alright. Just find some time to do something fun and enjoyable sometimes even if you don't want to. For example, if your partner likes comic book conventions go with them. You might not like comic book conventions but they do. Pay attention to how happy they are and watch how much being in that element brings out joy and how much they pass it on to you.
- Make it a point to do 1 gesture every day that makes your partner smile. Make a funny face, make fun of yourself, or watch a funny movie.
- Consciously ask yourself if you're lacking in any of the 3 key components. If you always take her on romantic dates take her somewhere fun or somewhere you can just talk. If you always do fun dates find somewhere romantic.
- If you always talk on dates try asking at least 3 questions in a row without giving any input about yourself.
- Spend at least 30 minutes in bed with your partner with the television off with at least 3 points on your body touching theirs. Don't fall asleep!
- Find something you can do that your partner will find out about without you mentioning anything. For example, find a chore they have to do and do it for them without asking.