Why is it that we always miss the toxic people in our lives right after we’ve cut ties with them? Why is it that our brains cannot understand that it is better to be single and happy than in a relationship that’s draining us emotionally? The drama, lies, deceit, tension and chaos that our exes brought with them is not something we would ever want for ourselves. But we always miss our exes like a bunch of idiots.
So, What to Do When You Miss Your Ex
Sounds stupid, right? But if it works, it’s not stupid. We understand if you control yourself from breaking down in a public place, but when you’re all alone, just cry to your heart’s content. It’s a cathartic release of stressful emotions, and the more you let those emotions out of your body, the quicker you can begin to heal.
Avoid mutual friends
Yes, some sacrifices have to be made and this unfortunately happens to be one of them. Your mutual friends are reminders of the good times you had with your ex. Not to mention the fact that they will discuss your breakup with you. Even mentioning by accident how well your ex is doing is trigger enough to make you want to cry. Hence, it’s best to steer clear of them at least for a while.
Do you know what to do when you miss your ex? Burn off negative emotions and feelings from your body by involving yourself in physical demanding activities. Now this activity can be something of your choice – working, zumba, salsa, kickboxing, self defence training, or mountain climbing – whatever floats your boat. Not to mention the fact that the release of endorphins during these activities will immediately enhance your mood.
Acknowledge that you’ve changed
There’s no denying that every person changes when in a relationship. Whether it’s for good or for bad is a different topic, but change is inevitable. It’s a natural part of a human’s emotional growth. This is more true for unhealthy relationships with toxic people.
So tell yourself this – “Who I am today is not who I was when I was with him. Things would be better off without him because now I know who I am and what I want. And he’s definitely not what I want.”
Get rid of his playlist
Or his mixtapes, or his favourite songs, or even sad or romantic songs that remind you of him. What’s the point of listening to a song if all it does is making you unhappy? Get rid of it. Remember – music is supposed to soothe your soul, not burn it.
Make a pros-and-cons list
Make a list of what to do when you miss your ex! Lists help when you try to decide whether or not you want something. This may sound a little bit childish, but come on! If it works, it works! Make a pros-and-cons list about getting back together with your ex, which will help you see more clearly the reasons as to why it didn’t work out between you two and the possible future of getting back with him.
Figure out why you miss him
He could have been kind or caring, or would have been a wizard in the bed. And you miss that. It’s normal. But then remember everything else that came with all that good stuff – all those things about him that you don't miss. Tell yourself that the next guy may not be as sweet, good looking or charming, but at least he’ll keep you happy and treat you with respect, and that’s what truly matters.
Find the silver linings
Wondering what to do when you miss your ex? Find the silver linings, of course! Once you’ve understood and reminded yourself why you guys broke up, things become a little better. And then, go ahead and focus on positive things. See how you’ve matured as a person, the new friends you’ve made, the new activities you’ve indulged in and how you’re never gonnna settle for less in your life ever again!
Stop stalking him on social media
Really? How old are you? 16? You’re not a child any more – you’re a mature adult and you should behave as such. Keeping in touch with his updates on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram is bound to have the same effect on you as meeting mutual friends or listening to old songs. If he’s not in your life any more, remove him from your list, and, for good measure, block him so that even when you’re tempted to check out his profile, you can’t. But if you've made the terrible decision of “being friends” and you can’t delete him, you can at least hide his updates from your newsfeed, right?
Look at how your ex has moved on
Fine, so you find it too difficult to not stalk him on social media. Just use that to your advantage. Look at how happy he is, how many new friends he has made, and all those pretty girls he is hanging out with. And then look at the sad little life that you’re living.
Don’t think about what to do when you miss your ex. Go ahead and do it. Take motivation from the fact that your ex has moved on. It’s time for you to do the same. Focus on better and more positive things in your life.
Expand your social circle
You’re taking inspiration from your ex, remember? And even if you aren’t, what’s the worst that can happen if you make new friends? Yes, it’s a lot tougher than it sounds, but you don’t have to make besties – just a new set of people you can hang out with and do fun activities with.
Sometimes, friends and family are not enough to help you deal with the emotional crisis that you’re going through. In such cases, professional help is what you need, especially if you have thoughts about harming yourself. Confide your feelings with a friend and ask them to help you find a good therapist to speak to.