A friend of mine told me about this one time she saw her husband cry at the funeral of his father. She understood his feeling of pain and loss, and she thought the tears were completely warranted. But then she said that if she saw him crying for just about any other reason at all, she’d think less of him. My friend said that when a man cries in front of his woman, it’s a sign of weakness and she’d prefer a man who’d just toughen up. I, on the other hand, think a little bit differently about this and believe that tears of your man normally can make you two closer.
What Does It Mean When a Man Cries in Front of His Woman?
Men feel a lot of pressure, and are always the strong one in all relationships. From a very early age, boys are taught to just suck it up and move on, and if they express their emotions, they may get teased and bullied. So men grow up thinking that if they cry, it means they are less of a man.
Tears are not a sign of weakness, though. Tears are quite the opposite, a sign of strength, love and trust. Men who are able to access their emotions can do so because they’re confident of their masculinity and feel comfortable in front of the woman who they are crying to. In a relationship or marriage, there should be a safe space where both of you can let your guards down and become completely vulnerable. It would be a very bad sign for a relationship if one or both people don’t feel comfortable enough to open up to the other.
Others' opinions on men crying in front of his woman
“The first time my man cried in front of me, I thought it was huge step in the right direction! It made me feel super close to him, and I think he felt super close to me too. I mean, if he’s comfortable enough to let it all hang out like that with me, then he must think I’m pretty special. I think it’s okay for a man to cry, especially in front of his woman. We just have to be supportive and empathetic, and offer our shoulder for them to cry on, consoling words, and hugs.”
“I’ve never actually cried in front of a girl, but we all know that’s how you get her back if she’s trying to break up with you. If we just start sobbing to the girl whose heart we broke, we know she’ll come crawling right back. Girls, man... sometimes just use this to trick you back!”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man crying. Just as long as they’re breaking down in tears over a Save the Children commercial every other hour the way a super emotional woman would! Don’t you remember when Michael Jordan won his first championship? The whole world watched him cry then! It didn’t really seem to hurt his image!"
Things to Avoid When a Man Cries in Front of You
“Are you actually crying?”
Of course he’s crying. You can see the tears welling up in his eyes ready to pour down his face. Why make a scene and embarrass him?
“I’ve never seen you cry!”
No, you haven’t. And you probably won’t see him cry again if you keep letting him know that you’re shocked by his tears. Don’t emasculate him.
“It’s not so bad.”
Well, if it wasn’t actually so bad, maybe he wouldn’t be crying. Maybe you don’t think it’s so bad, but he obviously thinks so. Be supportive of him and don’t make him feel like you think he’s being a crybaby.
Be a frigid ice queen
Your man needs to feel loved right now, and he needs a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Don’t freeze up at the first sight of waterworks.
Don’t sit far away and reluctantly touch his shoulder to offer your support. Embrace your man like you would on any other day. Besides, you can give him some gentle tab on the shoulder.
Usually for men, sex makes everything better. But if he’s crying, don’t try to seduce him into a romp in the sheets. You’ll undermine his emotions and feelings.
Try to stop him
Have you ever cried and had someone tell you “don’t cry”? Isn’t it always then that you cry a bit harder? Don’t make him feel like his tears are burdens on you and that you just want to get it over with already.
Just like you shouldn’t seduce him, don’t kiss him right at this moment. He’s most likely already feeling pretty self-conscious about crying, and he doesn’t need you to kiss on his slobbery mouth. If you must, just kiss him gently on his cheek or neck.
Change the subject
Changing the subject is the best way to let your man know that you don’t respect his feelings and that you’d rather be doing just about anything else in the world. In this moment, you need to pay very close attention to your man.
Pass the tissues
Making a big fuss over his tears is also not the way to go. Dramatically giving him tissues the way he’d think it’s supposed to be done in the movies will only make him feel small.
Call for backup
Don’t call his mom and his friends. This is your job to deal with it, even if you have no idea what to do. Figure it out. Don’t embarrass him by broadcasting his tears.
Offer to fight someone
Cute! If he’s upset because of something someone else did to him, don’t ask if you should go beat that someone up. This is extremely immature, and will show him that you’re not taking him seriously.