People are often surprised, and feel guilty, when they are not sad after a breakup. I mean, it makes sense that one would be unhappy after parting ways from their beloved, right? So then why are you asking yourself, “Why do I feel happy after a breakup?”

The answer is simple: even though you loved your partner and they loved you, the two of you weren’t a good match for each other. Remember, love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship – there are several other factors you have to take into account. And it is those factors that decide your happiness or unhappiness when being in a relationship.

Why do You Feel Happy After a Breakup?


The attraction was gone

Now this could be mutual, just from your side or from your partner’s side. In all cases, when the attraction is gone, what you are left with is liking your partner for who they were. And if they were a good person who were compatible with you, then you wouldn’t have reached this stage. Plus, opinions and levels of tolerance change over time. For example, her sense of humor which initially attracted you, is now annoying for you because she doesn’t seem to take many things seriously.


The sex was disappointing

A shallow reason for leaving a relationship indeed. Until and unless it was a sex only relationship, in which case why even be with someone if they can’t satisfy you sexually? As is in the case of attraction, if sex was the only reason you were in a “committed” relationship with someone, you have to ask yourself exactly how committed were you to break up with them on just the basis of lack of sexual gratification? You could also feel relief after breaking up because now you no longer have to fake being pleasured during sex.


You didn’t get enough space

Why do I feel happy after a breakup?

There was nothing wrong with your partner – they were kind, loving, caring and attentive. Too attentive at times. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with your partner as much as you can, you shouldn’t do so by making them uncomfortable, which is what happened with you. Your partner was too clingy and despite telling them clearly about their problem, they never paid heed. For them, clinging = expressing love, which was more than you could take. Ultimately, it was your decision to put your personal space and mental well being above staying with the person you loved, and there’s no point in regretting your decision now.


They cheated on you

It doesn’t matter how perfect things were, how perfect your partner was or how happy you were with them. They cheated on you. They betrayed your trust and more than that, they gave up everything the two of you had built painstakingly from the ground up, just for momentarily pleasure. Such acts are immensely disrespectful to the partners who have to suffer the emotional consequences of being cheated on. And kudos for you for taking such a step – many people would falter.


It was always about having the last word

Why do I feel happy after a breakup?

You two got along swell, till it came to arguments. And then it became a shit fest of who got to have the last word in the argument, irrespective of who was right or wrong. Things would often escalate to the two of you shouting, with the argument ending in flinging mud at each other. Sure, the two of you would calm down but after some time, it was the same vicious cycle again. So, despite knowing that you were in a relationship with a decent guy, you realize there’s more than you wanted – peace of mind, which was always a luxury in your previous relationship.


The humiliation

Criticizing someone when they are wrong is one thing. But to bring you down constantly whenever you do something wrong, is pushing the line. Especially when you’re forced to face this humiliation regularly and/or in front of people. You may not realize this, but not only is this a common tactic used by people to manipulate others into becoming more submissive, but is also considered a form of emotional abuse. So the reason you’re happy after your breakup is because you have nothing weighing you down emotionally or mentally.


The relationship was flat out abusive

Emotional or physical – abuse is abuse. And you should be feeling happy and relieved after you dumped that bastard’s sorry ass for mistreating you like this.


There was little intellectual stimulation

Why do I feel happy after a breakup?

This one is rare, but a lack of intellectual compatibility is often a deal breaker in relationships. This often results in you two have little to nothing to talk about, since your intellectual interests are so varied. For example:

She might be really into sports, while you’re more of an anime fan.

He enjoys listening to Bach, while you can’t get enough of Lorde

He’s a Republican, you’re a Democrat.

So on, and so forth.


You were tired of fixing things

Especially since it was you who was doing most or all of the fixing. Your partner showed little to no effort to making things better for the relationship. Could be because they knew you’d pick up the slack for them, or could be because they simply couldn’t be bothered. In either case, you’re better off without someone who doesn’t take your relationship seriously, which is why you are so relieved after the breakup.


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