You used to text all the time. And it was so much fun! Sending funny pictures, cute texts, making plans for dates…Till it all came to a sudden and very unexpected halt. And you’re here sitting, wondering, “Why is he not texting me? Was it something I said, or didn’t say?”
Well, truth be told, it could be one of a million things that could have gone wrong – things that could have been your fault, things that could have been his fault, or things that could have been completely out of your hands. But for the sake of convenience, we will focus on all the things girls generally do wrong when talking to a new guy in their lives. Also, texting here could easily be used as a substitute for DMing or emailing.
Reasons Why He Is Not Texting You
You expect instant replies
Honey, no. You aren’t 16. You’re a grown ass woman who has a life of her own, right? So what makes you think he doesn’t have a life of his? And shocker – it doesn’t include you 24x7? Space is healthy in a relationship. If you expect him to respond to your texts the second you send them, or the second he reads them, without allowing him some leeway to take care of things that might be happening around him, you’re being terribly immature and selfish.
You test him by sending him texts only when he’s busy
Again – you’re not a child that’s looking for mommy’s attention. If you’re guilty of testing on with such ridiculous “tests”, it’s no wonder he suddenly stopped talking to you. Respecting his boundaries is very important, especially when he’s involved in professional stuff. Especially when he’s made it clear he’s too busy to respond.
Your nonstop questions
“Why is he not texting me?”
Maybe because of 101 questions you asked him about himself on a daily basis. Look. I get that you’re trying to know more about him. But overwhelming him with so many questions is just gonna backfire. And he is more likely to end up thinking you’re childish and/or clingy. It’s the same for random, dumb ass questions.
If your response to his one line texts is a one page essay, then we have a problem. And the problem is that. Honey, guy or girl, nobody’s gonna read through such a long response, especially if you’re in the initial phases of dating. He’d rather dump you than put up with having to read lengthy responses.
If he hasn’t responded, give him time to respond. Sending texts like “Hey!” “Why ain’t you replying?” “Yo” simply make you appear irritating, clingy and possessive. If he doesn’t reply, then wait as long as you may have to, in order for him to contact you first. Have some self respect.
You were passive aggressive
I get it. You’re a strong, independent woman that don’t need no man. BUT you have to realize that giving him unnecessary attitude, especially when he did nothing wrong to deserve it, is not gonna give you an upper hand in the relationship’s power play. On the contrary – it will portray you as demanding and unlikeable, which will make him dump you. So now you know the answer to “Why is he not texting me?”
You’re always initiating conversations
I get that you really like him and want to talk to him as much as possible. However, from his point of view, such an action can easily be misinterpreted for being desperate. And if it’s one thing a guy doesn’t want from a woman he wants to date, it’s desperation.
You either love everything, or you hate it. There’s no in between. You’re either so happy you could die, or you’re already dead from boredom. See where I’m getting? Guys are taught to be unexpressive and emotionless, right from the moment they’re born. They’re taught that this is ‘manly’. So if you’re going to use such emotion laden words to express the smallest of your desires, he’s gonna think there’s something wrong for you to always have such extreme emotional reactions to the most normal occurrences. Improve your vocabulary and start using big-girl words.
You’re the queen of emoji
And that’s fantastic when you’re communicating in your emoji language with your besties. But it’s an entirely different ball game when it’s with a guy. It’s not considered as cute as you think – it’s actually very annoying. If you want him to take you seriously, then you have to converse like an adult. And that means keeping emojis to a minimum. And no, 3 emojis for every sentence you type is not “minimum”. More like, 1 emoji for every 50 words you type.
Things that are out of your hands
Now while sometimes the answer to “Why is he not texting me?” is because the fault lies in you, sometimes it can be because there’s nothing wrong with you. Sometimes, it’s his fault, or simply something that doesn’t work to the favor of you two. Here are some examples:
You have different expectations
You are looking for something nice and casual, while he’s had his fair share and is looking for something more serious. And while you said you’re open to becoming serious, you haven’t done much to show/prove that to him. So he decided it’s better to end things now than to drag it out.
You two live in two different corners of the same city, and travelling just for one date can be a real bitch. Especially if he’s the one who has to travel a greater distance. It’s essentially a long distance relationship, and could be a deal breaker for a guy who’s looking for the kinda girl he can hang out with daily.
You’re his emergency reserve
Look. A lot of guys like to play the field and don’t give girls a positive answer till they’re sure they’ve found the best one suited for their needs. And the moment he finds someone better than you, he dumps you with no explanations given.