There once was a time when you thought that you would never go another day without talking to your ex, because according to you, you two were supposed to be together. But guess what? Shit happened and now you guys aren’t together any more. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. As your head keeps conjuring up images of the good times, the toughest to do is to control yourself from texting your ex. Why shouldn't you text an ex? You will know after finishing this article.
Why You Shouldn't Text Your Ex
It doesn’t allow you to heal
It doesn’t matter whether the pain is physical or emotional – the rules are the same. If you keep poking, prodding or messing up your injury, it’s going to take a LOT longer for it to heal. The best thing to do is to just let it be.
You devalue yourself
You’re not perfect, but you’re good. You’re good enough for a lot of men or women out there, and whoever gets to be with you is really lucky. But know that every single time you go crawling back into your exs' arms, be it via text messages, calls or whatever, you devalue yourself in their eyes and frankly, in your own too. Why? Because this reassures them that you miss them and that they are always on your mind. And irrespective of whether that’s true or not, you should let them believe that you’re better off and happier without them. And this brings us to the next reason why you shouldn't text your ex.
It feeds your ex's ego
As mentioned above, texting your exes gives them the satisfaction that you still want them back. Now this looks bad for you, whether you are the one who ended the relationship or was dumped. If you dumped your ex, texts like this show him or her that you are not confident in your decision of breaking up. If you are the one dumped, it shows how sad and pathetic your life is without him or her. And that, my dear, hurt your ego greatly but feed your ex's ego to a great extent.
It makes you a LOT less attractive
It’s not that texting an ex makes you physically unattractive. No. This works on your ex's psychological level. For example, do you know what men find attractive in girls? Their independence and ability to give men space. And you do know what makes girls unattractive? A sobbing hot mess who clings to her ex even after she was dumped unceremoniously by him. By reaching out, you immediately become less desirable for your ex.
You lose the war
Whether you accept it or not, breakups are competition between two people who compete over who’s happier without the other, because that’s the best way to piss off the other party. And what happens when you text your ex? You take at least 50 steps back. Now whether or not you’re a competitive soul, let me tell you that you NEVER want your ex to think proudly, “She/he wants me or her/his life is a mess without me.” Because then, your ex wins. It’s literally one of the best reasons to tell yourself when you’re thinking of why you shouldn't text your ex.
The instant relief is not worth it
Yes, I know you’re feeling terrible, like you have a hole inside your heart which only your ex can fill. The easiest way you know to heal your pain is to have your ex back in your life, for no matter how fleeting a moment. Because that one stupid text from him instantly makes you feel better. But what it REALLY does is undo all the progress you’ve made, strengthen the pain right after it and prolong the rough healing process.
Questions and answers are useless
Let’s say you guys talk, and he clears all the doubts that you had. Then what? How exactly does it solve your problems? Not to mention, his answers are in all probability bound to hurt you because if the answers prove your doubts, the feeling of betrayal will devour you; but if the answers overturn your doubts, the regrets will destroy you.
It won't end well
Exactly how long do you expect the texting to continue? At some point, one of you is going to snap, old issues will be brought to the table, and you two will end up having another massive fight. And then, it’s going to be like you two break up all over again, which will again make you feel like dying. That's one of the most important reasons why you shouldn't text your ex.
You’re turning away potential suitors
Because you will never think about going on a date with another person if you’re still pondering over whether or not you should text your ex. For every message you send to your ex, you are taking 10 steps back instead of forward. And if you’re not moving forward, what are you even doing with your life? Not to mention, even if you magically force yourself to go out on dates, your demeanour and body language will be more than enough to tell your dates that you’re just wasting their time, or worse, toying with their emotions.